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Miscellaneous Tables of Things

Some of these I've made myself, most of them I've purloined from others and put here so that I can access them from wherever I might happen to be. I've tried to give credit where credit is due, but in some instances I've failed to note the source — sorry. Let me know and I'll happily insert it.

    Fantasy

  1. 100 NPC Traits
  2. 100 Market Stalls
  3. 30 Magic Treasures
  4. 100 Sandbox Wonders
  5. 100 Sandbox Rumours
  6. In The Marketplace
  7. Drunk Jerks With Swords
  8. "It Came From The Polar Vortex!"
  9. So You've Decided To Rest In Town Before Going Back Into The Dungeon!
  10. Only Dragons Get Critical Hits!
  11. On The King's Highway
  12. What happens when a demon dies?

    Sci-Fi

  1. Random Cargoes — What's In The Crate?

    Weird

  1. 1d30 Remains From Azathoth The Blind And Idiot God

100 NPC Traits

  1. Accusatory: believes the PCs are up to something, and isn’t shy about saying so.
  2. Apologetic: desperately seeks the PCs’ forgiveness for a minor error, real or imagined.
  3. Attentive: fi xates on one PC, whom he tries to impress at the rest of the party’s expense.
  4. Authoritarian: sees herself as the PCs’ superior and expects their head-nodding respect.
  5. Avuncular: feels he’s learned life’s lessons and is eager to heap advice on any young person who will listen.
  6. Battle-ready: seeks advice on an upcoming duel (or other confrontation) with an old enemy.
  7. Blinkered: fi xes on an idea or course of action and won’t abandon it.
  8. Boastful: wants the PCs to know how rich, strong, important, famous, or admired she is.
  9. Cautious: terrifi ed of making a mistake.
  10. Chatty: loves to hear himself talk.
  11. Chronicler: an amateur historian seeking information for the book she’s writing.
  12. Clumsy: keeps dropping things or knocking them over and is too fl ustered to help the PCs.
  13. Conspiratorial: plotting a crime or rebellion and wonders if the PCs are likely recruits.
  14. Contrarian: eager to show his independence from conventional wisdom.
  15. Cowed: won’t do anything that might arouse the wrath of an intimidating superior.
  16. Cranky: has dealt with idiots all day and is sure she’s looking at another bunch of them.
  17. Deluded: convinced he is a grand hero trapped in an ordinary person’s body, and wants the PCs to help him recover his real identity.
  18. Despises locals: treats outsiders well and locals badly.
  19. Drunkard: completely inebriated but does not want anyone to catch on.
  20. Easily offended: constantly looking out for insults, which she will imagine if necessary.
  21. Effi cient: wants to cut to the heart of the matter, resolving it as quickly as possible.
  22. Egotistical: wants to be fl attered.
  23. Embittered: recently lost a legal judgment and wants to complain about it at length.
  24. Ensorcelled: a grand hero, trapped in an ordinary person’s body, who wants the PCs to help him recover his real identity.
  25. Exhausted: tired and simply wants to go home.
  26. Fashion-conscious: interested only in who’s got the fi nest clothing.
  27. Fatalistic: willing to help the PCs because nothing really matters, anyway.
  28. Flirtatious: wants to test his or her charm on a PC of the opposite sex with a high Charisma.
  29. Forbidding: takes pleasure in refusing requests.
  30. Forgetful: wants to help the party, but must overcome a faulty memory to do so.
  31. Giddy: has just received wonderful news and wants the PCs to celebrate his good fortune with him.
  32. Glutton: wants the PCs to envy the incredible meal she is about to eat.
  33. Gossipy: loves salacious and embarrassing information and happily shares what he knows in exchange for equally juicy rumors.
  34. Greedy: knows adventurers are rich and wonders how she can extract the maximum amount of coin from them.
  35. Gregarious: wants the PCs to think of him as their new best friend.
  36. Grieving: wants to be left alone to mourn a loved one who has just died.
  37. Guarded: will do anything to avoid seeming weak or vulnerable.
  38. Guilty: has committed a sin or crime unrelated to the plot and is sure the PCs are onto him.
  39. Harried: late for an important appointment and wants to get rid of the PCs as quickly as possible.
  40. Healthy: swears by a cousin’s foul-tasting cure-all elixir, urging the PCs to purchase some.
  41. Helpful: eager to please, perhaps to a fault.
  42. Hero-worshiping: wants to hear all about the biggest, toughest creature the party ever fought.
  43. Homesick: comes from abroad and wants the PCs to agree that her homeland is much better than this place.
  44. Idealistic: wishes to enlist the PCs in a pet cause.
  45. Impatient: wants to take action right now.
  46. Importunate: tries to win a favor from the PCs through blatant begging.
  47. Impostor: wants to keep secret the fact that she is a disguised rogue, doppelganger, or other entity posing as the real NPC.
  48. Insecure: believes that people think him stupid and wants to prove otherwise.
  49. Intimidating: wants others to acknowledge how dreadful and imposing she is.
  50. Jaded: has seen and done it all and wants the PCs to know that their problems mean nothing to him.
  51. Jester: wants the group to laugh at her terrible jokes.
  52. Jolly: gregarious, wants to befriend the PCs and take them home to meet his family.
  53. Laconic: tries to use as few words as possible.
  54. Lonely: wants the PCs to be her best friends.
  55. Loud: very helpful, but speaks in a disconcertingly loud voice.
  56. Lovelorn: powerfully infatuated and hopes to enlist the PCs in a quest for his true love’s heart.
  57. Loyal: respects and admires the PCs’ current adversary or object of inquiry and would sooner die than commit an act of betrayal.
  58. Machiavellian: tries to involve the PCs in a complicated scheme to gain power or harm an enemy.
  59. Matchmaker: always on the lookout for a suitable spouse for a hapless relative.
  60. Melancholy: saddened by the state of the world and wants the PCs to share her gloom.
  61. Mocking: sees the PCs as absurd and wants them to know it.
  62. Mopey: feels that he’s an unrecognized genius and wants the PCs to show that they understand him.
  63. Nervous: believes that all adventurers are murderous scoundrels and wants to get away from the PCs as soon as she can without offending them.
  64. Nihilistic: secretly worships a dark deity of decay and destruction who will be pleased if the NPC brings about the party’s ruin.
  65. Nosy: wants to know everything there is to know about the PCs, because this is her way of showing friendly interest in others.
  66. Oracular: has a premonition about the PCs and wishes to share it.
  67. Outlandish: fears he’s boring and tries to seem fascinatingly crazy.
  68. Pacifistic: aids the PCs only toward peaceful ends.
  69. Patriotic: wants everyone to love her king and country as much as she does.
  70. Patronizing: views the PCs as common street rabble and condescends to them.
  71. Picayune: corrects any minor mistake or mispronunciation the PCs make.
  72. Pious: wishes to communicate his great devotion to his deity.
  73. Prejudiced: irrationally despises one of the PCs on sight due to race, class, or another superfi cial trait.
  74. Public spirited: loves the area, wants to improve it, and urges the PCs to do the same.
  75. Puckish: seeks amusement, preferably at the PCs’ expense.
  76. Pugnacious: looking for an argument on any topic whatsoever.
  77. Quiet: speaks in a barely audible voice and recoils if the PCs don’t do the same.
  78. Rebellious: wants to enlist the PCs in some troublemaking.
  79. Resentful: wants to complain about a stupid or annoying superior.
  80. Scattered: wants to help but loses focus unless carefully supervised.
  81. Self-obsessed: steers any conversation back to his favorite subject: himself.
  82. Servile: considers himself the PCs’ inferior and is disquietingly dedicated to aiding them.
  83. Shifty: has done something terrible, and the more innocent she tries to appear, the more guilty she seems.
  84. Sick: suffers from a chronic malady and anxiously shares details of its symptoms.
  85. Skeptical: disbelieves anything remotely questionable the PCs say.
  86. Smitten: infatuated with a PC of the opposite sex with a high Charisma, and wants to please him or her.
  87. Smug: believes he’s clearly the best at what he does.
  88. Solemn: responds well to serious talk, but badly to jokes and trivialities.
  89. Spiteful: nurses a grudge against the PCs’ current adversary or object of inquiry and will say anything that increases their chances of harming him.
  90. Territorial: doesn’t want the PCs getting too close to her or her possessions.
  91. Thick: wants to help but is too dumb to do it.
  92. Treasure-seeking: has found a treasure map and wants the PCs to help him recover the loot.
  93. Trivial: wishes to demonstrate her mastery of irrelevant minor facts.
  94. Trusting: believes anything the PCs tell him.
  95. Unreliable: makes outlandish promises that she has no intention of keeping.
  96. Vengeful: was recently robbed or assaulted and wants the PCs to thrash the perpetrator.
  97. Violent: looking for a scrap against safely inferior opponents.
  98. Wagerer: bets on anything.
  99. Worried: wants to talk about how badly the kingdom has gone downhill in the past few years.
  100. Xenophobic: treats locals well and outsiders badly.

100 Market Stalls (d100)

Beyond The Black Gate
  1. Exotic parrots with rainbow plumage
  2. Charms against possession and enchantment
  3. Narwhal-horn scrimshaw
  4. Purple Worm-tooth daggers
  5. Fine parchment, inks, & quills
  6. Obnoxiously loud ornamental dogs
  7. Old Greba's Spell Component & Herb Emporium
  8. Dragonfruit (a popular aphrodesiac)
  9. Troot's "Knock-Knee" Brandy
  10. Fine scarves and shawls
  11. Holter's Roots, Tubers, and Grubs
  12. Oak-handled umbrellas and sunshades
  13. Lens Grinder - Bronze-rimmed reading glasses
  14. Hot spiced meat pies
  15. Pet lemurs and a variety of ornamental leashes
  16. Firewood and charcoal
  17. Handmade silver-wire hairnets & necklaces
  18. Fried onions & mushrooms
  19. Candied confections
  20. Risque night attire
  21. Rare books, scrolls, & tomes
  22. Handcarved blackwood statuettes
  23. Caricature artist
  24. Ceramic pottery
  25. Love potions ( in actually works!)
  26. Fresh vegetables of gigantic size
  27. Fine leather belts, straps, gloves, & boots
  28. Iron cookware
  29. Fine sheathes for blades of all sizes
  30. Grilled insects on sticks
  31. Rolula the Fortune Teller & Card Reader
  32. Gungi's Ale Stall - Halfpints, pints, & litres available
  33. Gnarlwood flutes & whistles
  34. Fresh fruits from the fabled shouthern jungles
  35. Scribing & Messenger service
  36. Dulok the moneychanger and his intimidating bodyguards
  37. Fine portraits & landscapes
  38. Rare maps of locales near & far
  39. Smoked giant hornfish
  40. Fine shoes & slippers for courtiers
  41. Well-crafted and colorful glassware
  42. Freshly skinned rabbits
  43. Finely woven baskets and hats
  44. Pumpkins, Gourds, and Squash
  45. Berries, Grapes, and Cherries
  46. Saddles, tack, harness, and saddlebags
  47. Priest pontificating about the End Days to any who'll listen
  48. Nine different varieties of Bay Leaf
  49. Fiery spices from across the great ocean
  50. Needles & Pins, different colors of thread
  51. Leather jackets
  52. Leather boots & shoes
  53. Hot peppers & sauces
  54. Fresh flowers, available in arrangements
  55. Piping hot spiced cider
  56. Potatoes, available in or lb sacks
  57. Nice porcelain chamber pots & ewers
  58. Caged geese, plump & raucous
  59. Pintillican's Gauranteed Fever-Cures
  60. Strings, cat-gut or wire for stringed instruments
  61. Drums & drumheads
  62. Fine attire for dwarfs, halflings & other folk of small stature
  63. Chalk & slates of all sizes
  64. Multi-colored rugs
  65. Backpacks, pouches, & sacks
  66. Candied chestnuts
  67. Fine wines by the bottle or cask
  68. Underclothes of Distinction
  69. Masonry Tools
  70. Ingots of various rare metals
  71. Finely crafted hourglasses
  72. Bolts of silk from the unapproachable East
  73. Hats of all shapes & sizes
  74. Rotten eggs & vegetables for sale to throw at undesirables
  75. Poetry by commission
  76. Puppets & Marionettes
  77. A pair of surly looking goblins offering to darn socks
  78. Bird feathers & plumage of all sizes & colors
  79. A sergeant of the Black Iron Mercenary Company soliciting recruits
  80. Bells, bells, and more bells. And a group of children who won't leave them alone.
  81. Ornate birdcages
  82. Massage for a gold piece
  83. Fine cloaks & capes
  84. Delicious smelling freshly baked bread
  85. Dried meats & fruits
  86. Tinterboxes & Torches
  87. Beritte the Curse-Tamer
  88. Ceramic mugs & goblets
  89. Weird & Wonderful porcelain masks
  90. Golben the Ogler
  91. Sugar cane and molasses
  92. Rare Tea of Altered Consciousness
  93. A mud-caked orphan girl trying to sell from a litter of kittens
  94. Bags of barley, wheat, and rye
  95. Wooden contraptions of uncertain purpose
  96. Hommaquill Whitebeard, Seer of Heroes
  97. Hot apple & gooseberry pies
  98. Fine rapiers with intricate basket-hilts
  99. Model ships and gliders
  100. A dubious-looking trader trying to sell (for an extravagant sum) what he claims to be a pseudodragon egg
30 Magic Treasures
Telecanter's Receding Rules
d30Result
1Amethyst Band – Prevents poisoning but contracts in doing so, amputating a finger.
2Anan’s Veil – A chunk of cloudy-grey crystal that obscures the presence of the holder but also obscures the world to the holder in a swirling grey mist. You are invisible but blind.
3Beautiful Cap – The wearer of this colorful cap will catch the eye of all creatures in viewing distance, pique their curiosity, and draw their gaze. Creatures that fail a save will follow along, watching the wearer.
4Bone Stylus – Write the name of your antagonist in your flesh and he will leave you be. Works similar to sanctuary against the named individual. Causes one hit point of damage for every letter inscribed in the bearer's flesh. Lasts until the damage is healed.
5Branwalather's Bridge – Actually a pair of heavy, lignum vitae chests. Carried, even one of these is heavy enough to slow and tire two strong men. Opened they appear mundane. If a person is shut up inside one, they exit the other.
6Bulwark – This large shield gains +1 to AC and 50 lbs each round of combat.
7Burdensome Blade – Each day the blade draws no blood it becomes heavier to bear.
8Clement’s Docent – This pair of crude, high, wooden clogs is sometimes known as the Beneficent Path. Uncomfortable and clattering loudly, they are remarkable in that they will lead the wearer's feet, gently pulling with each step. The path they take is the last journey made while worn.
9Friendsward – Useless in battle unless next to a fast friend, in which case it will block every blow that tries to harm them.
10Godith’s Gauge – Floating this ornately carved spoon on liquid will cause it to spin and point toward that which poses the greatest threat to its owner.
11Hat of Climbing – These hats, found in male and female forms, are long and ungainly, consisting of at least two yards of fabric. When the proper magic phrase is uttered they slowly stiffen to the strength and rigidity of steel. They can be climbed, used as a lever, pole, or even vault and will remain rigid until the magic phrase is uttered again.
12Iron Hammer – A hammer that will give you a bonus to hit equal to the penalty you take to your armor class. Want to hit your foe, let him hit you.
13Ivory Aegis – This shield is so slight it's actually a detriment in combat (-1 to AC) but will help guard the bearer against any charming magics (+4 to save).
14Knot Book – Corliss Loop –This book explains how to make a knot that will let a weight slowly and evenly down a vertical rope. Allows a person to descend without climbing or being lowered, and thus remain alert and ready. Good for invalids. (1d4 sessions to learn -1 for exceptional Int).
15Knot Book – Hour Hitch – This book explains how to make a knot that will cause this to release in one hour, also a half hour variant. (1d4 sessions to learn -1 for exceptional Int).
16Knot Book – Songbird – This book explains how to make a knot that will release at a particular whistle note. (1d4 sessions to learn -1 for exceptional Int).
17Lover’s Charm – Two pieces: crude ceramic heart the size of an apple and a barbed, silver arrow as long as a thumb. As long as the arrow is stuck in living flesh, the heart will give off enough heat to make it uncomfortable to hold.
18Needle – This rapier never misses its mark but only leaves the tiniest mark (always hits, 1 hp dmg).
19Obsidian Blade – By cutting yourself with this razor-sharp rock you can heal someone as many points as you decide to bleed out. You will recover your hit points normally. You can bleed yourself as often as your health allows.
20Ranulph’s Runcible – A spoon ornately carved from a single piece of maple. When used to spoon liquid from a container, it will turn black if the liquid would be harmful to the imbiber. This black color will fade away in a day.
21Ring of Extrication – Taken off, it transports you to the place you put it on, but the ring stays behind.
22Ring of Redolence – Emits a constant air of fragrance. Each ring's scent will be unique to it, mint or lavender, for instance. The atmosphere around the wearer will be safe from noxious fumes such as the reek of ghasts or the stink of wizard clouds. But the fragrance will carry far, especially in enclosed spaces, and none who wear it come unannounced.
23Rings of the Joined – These bands only work in multiples. All wearers can share aspects of themselves among themselves. If, for example, 8 give up 1 foot of height, a ninth will become 8 feet taller.
24The Silent Horn – Blowing into it makes no noise. But every person told its magic phrase will hear it sound, deep and clear. Its signal has been used to win battles and in the assassination of seven sultans.
25Sister Sacks – Two grimy sacks woven of hair, one red, one black. Just large enough to hold a loaf of bread, put something in one and it appears in the other.
26St Colvin’s Key – St Colvin was a humble miner trapped in a cave in. He dug a hole in the ground in the shape of a cross. This cross slowly filled with water as from a spring and on lying in it Colvin was transported to safety. A hole of a specific shape dug with this spade will fill with water. A second hole dug in the same shape will fill with water and form a gate to the first.
27St's Buckler – Crude and wooden, this small shield offers no bonus to AC but a foe's critical hits are reflected back on them.
28Testudunculum – This bronze shield will block three successful missile hits on anyone in 20' every round.
29Thrall’s Torc – In combat you are much harder to hurt (+3 to AC), but the torc constricts each round you're engaged in violent activity. Half your constitution is the number of rounds you can fight before passing out completely.
30Wealward – A ring. One malady will but darken it, any more rebound on all in sight.
100 Sandbox Wonders
Telecanter's Receding Rules
d100Result
01Walking rocks — A great flat plain filled with rocks of various sizes. Each night, they slide along at walking speed in one of the four cardinal directions. They range in size from pebble to huge boulders you could build a keep on. (sort of like sailing stones).
02The Teeming Plains — Vast plains with many overlapping fossilized tracks. Apparently caused by some near-instant calamity in the ancient past. If you learn to distinguish the tracks you can follow those of mages, warriors, and angels to where they stop, dig there, and find caches of ancient magic left where they died.
03Everburning Fire — In some far away hollow surrounded by wastelands is a fire that will never go out. It can catch fuels on fire and burn them up, but will remain, burning on the ground even when the fuel is burnt up. Burns in the rain. Burns in the snow. Smothering it might put it out. Have a sentient species of creatures covered in this fire (they just want to be friends) or obsidian trees that blossom with it ever spring.
04Cold Fires — Found in a crater this fire can be spread by normal fuels — carried on a torch, in a brazier — but will never consume the fuels. It burns underwater. It burns eternally but is not hot.
05The Great Mirage Lake — A huge, dry, sea. When a water craft is pushed into it water forms all around, lifting it up. This water might be collected in a container from inside the craft.
06Lesser Mirage Lake — A beautiful blue lake in a dry land. The waters recede from any living thing. It might be possible to catch some with a suitably long pole. It might be possible to explore sunken cities hidden in its deepest parts.
07The Blanched Moors — Low, wet lands covered with shallow, bitter pools. In these are the perfectly preserved bodies of creatures that have died here, all white. White stallions, white cocks, white apes, albino princesses. Perfect for those searching for material components or extinct beasts to revivify.
08The Solid Fogs — At certain times of year the mists across some bays coalesce into solid clouds. These are a danger for ships. There are tales of mages gathering the stuff with shovels and saws to place in the air and build towers on.
09Lethe Fogs — Said to rise from the ground in fell bogs. It smells faintly of over ripe apples and eats away at the memory (lose XP ever day you travel in it). If bottled could cause memory loss in targets elsewhere.
10The Sweet Wind — A chance wind that arises on a certain lost plain. It smells faintly of vanilla. It clears the air and sharpens those that breathe it (extra XP for anything that grants it bonus chance for checks like casting spells to be successful).
11The Crowding Grove — A forest of trees that press in on any living thing, becoming impassable. Cuttings and twigs taken will have similar properties.
12The Shy Thickets — Thick brush that parts for anything living. Plantings can be taken. Might function as a good anti-undead defence.
13The Abrupt Forest — When the sun rises on this it is a flat, treeless plain. But soon saplings push out of the sod and grow. And grow. Trees will grow to adult height by sunset (or alternatively noon). Depending on the type of forest they may grow as fast as a meter a minute or more. Once night falls they recede back into the earth. Cuttings and saplings can be taken.
14The Hidden Forest — Opposite of above; the trees of this forest grow quickly once night falls and recede to a flat plain in the day.
15The Forest that Isn't — A normal forest at night but the light of dawn turns the timber to birds or butterflies which fly away only to come settle back into tree form when night falls.
16Water Rise — Water that flows up. Sometimes found underground where they are a unfamiliar hazard to explorers. On the surface their waters "fall" straight up to space. Can be bottled.
17True Ice Walls — These sheets of ice are somehow pushed vertically from a great frozen plain or lake. Rows and rows. Some pressed tight like the strata of a tilted mesa, some with space enough between for a human to walk. When someone is seen through the ice their true feeling toward you are visible in their face. Crews harvest sections with saws and sleds to place in faraway palaces.
18The Dammed Muds — Flats of mud that stretch for miles and that never dry. Even if dug up and moved to somewhere else the mud will remain mud. Said to be treasured by mages in the making living statues.
19The Shards — A flat landscape, as far as the eye can see, covered with shards of inscribed pottery. Like a great library, the writing on the shards can be searched for spells, recipes, or the locations of famous treasures. Except some essential bit of information will always be missing, the one shard that bit was on lost to the ages (spells will misfire in random ways, recipes have side effects, treasure maps will have some riddle that needs answering or might point to two equally possible places).
20Where God Waits — The landscape of this whole area is actually the shape of a human lying on its side. The hip a great hill. Two cults have sprung up around it, one that protects the figure in expectation of its waking day, the other secretly digs out its grey, clayey flesh at night to eat.
21The Graveyard of Gods — A set of canyons filled with white bones too big for even dragons. Ribs as big as rivers, Hills of solid bone. Operations have been set up to "mine" the ivory, cutting out solid blocks as big as wagons can carry. Interesting murals might be scrimshawed in hard to reach places.
22 The Battlefield — A Great rocky depression filled with the bones of thousands of warriors and most of their gear. Weapons and armor, ancient, weird, or of excellent quality can be found if long enough is pent rummaging partial or broken gear scattered through the rocks. Some say those who take from this place are cursed by doing so.
23Tidal Sands — This section of desert acts like waters in a bay, receding to reveal hidden treasures, returning to catch the uncautious in smothering dunes.
24Calving Cliffs — Rough cliffs above the sea. They are lined with cairns along their edge (like the tomb of the eagles). Every so often chunks of the cliff will break away and . . . float. These floating islands sometimes calve with whole cairns on them, sometimes with a party of tomb looters stuck on them.
25The Plug — A great lump of lead the size of a keep. Rumored to have been created to encase a powerful evil. Constantly hacked at by the poor and greedy-- the lead used to make shot for slings, roofing, pipes — each time some is taken away there is a chance of evil being released to wreak havoc (maybe something like vulture-headed pygmies appear, or worse depending on the amount of lead hacked off).
26Tar Glacier — I think just seeing a huge swath of tar filling an alpine valley, infinitesimally creeping forward would be trippy. What other uses it might have I'm not sure. (Leave your ideas below).
27The Fickle River — Every few days this river will completely change the direction it flows. Commerce and the towns and villages that line it are shaped by this, with different trade and small festivals happening when the current turns their way or remains their way for more than certain amounts of time.
28Flower Trail Steppes — About a half hour after walking on the ground in this region small, bright flowers bloom all around the area walked on. Impossible to cross without leaving a colorful trail. Very dangerous, as bandits and large predators have learned to use this in tracking prey. The cut sod is worth its weight in gold to potentates for use in gardens.
29Old Chalk Hills — Rolling hills made up of powdery, grey chalk under a thin layer of grasses. This chalk preserves the life of anything buried in it. Digging in the hills will uncover every type of ancient life, even humans, which, after catching a few deep, coughing breaths, will resume life.
30Heavy Sands — These sand bars in a river delta fluctuate in color depending on the health of the ruler of the empire. The grains act normally-- filling spaces, able to be made into glass-- but are as heavy as lead.
31The Whirlwind — This persistent tornado is given different names by different cutures- Kasirga, Kimbunga- and is said to have a personality. It moves randomly across the plains often just in sight, a deadly threat if it decides to come toward the viewer.
32The Shy Sea — A vast plain of gravel, every few weeks a murmuring sound all around signals the rise of clear, fresh water bubbling up from below. The waters of this new shallow sea, eventually about as deep as a human is tall, are said to have healing properties.
33Ice Flats — These areas look as if a great lake was covered in ice and then the water disappeared. Sailing ice boats is a quick but dangerous way to cross them. At night, fires and lights are often seen flickering below the ice, as if whole cities live beneath.
34Fire Pools — An area of natural pools that smells faintly of stale oil and looks oily. At night a pale fire flickers across the surface giving an eery glow to the whole area. Water collected here will also burn in the dark. Drinking the water is not advised.
35Green Canyon — A small, winding canyon unrecognizable as such because its ground-level opening is filled with greenery. Clambering down a trail into the canyon reveals that the greenery is from trees growing in mid-air, their roots bare. The heartwood of these trees is buoyant.
36The Weeping Stones — In an otherwise dry badlands, these pinkish, hard rocks trickle moisture. Mosses and lush grasses grow around their bases. Oval and each close to the size of a person, the rocks show signs of having been chipped at over the centuries. A fist-sized chip will trickle a waterskin full in a day.
37Summer Mountain — This mountain range is seasonal. It slowly recedes into winter and pushes up in spring. Tallest at the summer solstice, its behavior shapes the trade and ecology of the entire region.
38The Speckled Shoals — These rocky shoals are dangerous to ships, but beautiful. Made up of small rocks the many colors of fall leaves, these have actually fallen from the small trees that crown the shoals and grow leaves of stone. Cuttings can be taken.
39The Child of the Sun — Hidden in an underground cavern is a tiny sun. Just like our sun but the size of an apple, it floats above the cavern floor. Here warm breezes blow, green mosses spread across the cavern floor and mouse-sized cattle graze in the glow.
40The Rotten Rocks — Actually two hills of greenish stone crumbling to powder. The hills can be seen from quite a distance. The powder decays metal as a rust monster.
41Amber Beach — This long, sweeping beach hidden in a cove is made entirely of bits of amber smoothed by the sea. The amber holds fragments of ancient trees, bugs, and some even tiny fairies. It's said warming those over a fire will release the fairy which might perform a service.
42Bower Village — Seen from nearby hills this looks like a thriving riverside village. On closer inspection it's all made of straw, mud, and found objects. A single male bower bird lives here. If caught and moved elsewhere he will construct a similar village in approximately 1 month.
43Auburn Hills — Hills covered with fine, red-brown grass but oddly little wildlife. Closer inspection reveals the "grass" is human hair. Can be used to make rope and cloth like silk. Do not burn.
44Ember Showers — These blasted lands have barely any plant growth, and the few weeds and scraggly bushes are singed and blackened. Each day a shower of embers falls here. Legend says, if you can catch one in holy water the ember will cool and "grow" back into what it was before, and that each of these embers are the pages from some great library.
45Well of Coals — This tavern-sized crater is filled with smoldering coals. Removed coals are replaced by more coals that seem to push up from inside the earth. These coals will never burn out and are tempting for merchants to take, but there is a small chance each day they will begin reproducing and filling the area they are in completely with coals.
46The Thick Airs — In a small, hidden valley the air is so thick that moving through it is more like moving through water, or snow. It is so thick that small items, like apples and daggers, can be placed in it and will not fall. It is said it is so thick it can be scooped into bags and carried away.
47The Thick Waters — The waters in this small, forgotten pool look normal in every way, but feel more like a thick mud. A boat will sit on the surface and not sink into it. They cannot be drunk. It is said if they are warmed the thick water will thin itself, becoming normal and expanding in volume by 10 or 100 times.
48The Splintered Ridges — A set of several long straight ridges. Under the thin layer of soil and grass these hills are made entirely of wood. And this wood is said to heal itself, prized for shields.
49Breathing Mountain — The canyons at the base of this mountain are beset by winds every few hours. These blow down and away and then in a few minutes and toward the mountain again. The winds are of such force they can blow mules down the canyons and suck small children up and away.
50Dewdrop Flowers — The petals of these small flowers are made of water droplets. The slightest brush will release the droplets and cause the flower next to it to release its, sending glistening waves through the fields. Greatly sought be rulers or arid realms.
51The Smoking Lands — Lands much like ours except that the living things are a bit paler, a bit grayer, and where our life has hair they have smoke rising off of them. Women with smoky tresses, wolves that have fur of smoky tendrils.
52The Great Green — A vast swath of green grass that reaches heights of 12 feet. Travel through it is risky because so many have gotten lost, or never returned. Who knows what wonder it hides.
53Where the Light Falls — Imagine a shaft of sunlight breaking through the clouds on a cloudy day. In this place there are many of these sunny rays of light, of various sizes and falling at various angles, even when there are no clouds. If a living thing walks through the one of these, the light will fallow them until they leave the region. Follow them even at night.
54Twilight Vale — This secluded valley is always in the gloaming. It is a peaceful dusk, with crickets and fireflies. But the sun never shines here.
55Root Forest — This grove of trees grows upside down. Nothing is seen but roots. Digging in the earth around the trunks reveals leaves and mango-like fruit. Eating one of these fruit will give you all the benefits of a good nights sleep without having to sleep.
56Fertile Earth — This patch of land is so fertile that anything planted in the ground here will grow into a tree. These trees look just like oaks, and are just as slow to grow, but bear fruit that is the young of the planted "seed." Bury a bird and the tree bears eggs. Bury a fruit and the tree bear seeds. Bury the dead and . . .
57Impenetrable Forest — After walking for half an hour into this stand of trees you will find yourself walking back out. Always.
58Down Showers — In this area, in the winter, small downy feathers fall instead of snow. These blacken and decay eventually. Gathered fresh into sacks, the down can be used for bedding and clothing that provides excellent warmth while virtually weightless.
59Salt Forest — Seen from a distance it looks like a snow-covered forest. Closer inspection reveals trees, shrubs, stumps, everything made entirely from salt. Rain causes the whole to melt away. Later, the salt then pushes up from the ground to slowly reform the forest. This salt is said to be useful for leaving trails in labyrinths that remain undisturbed.
60Cold Springs — A series of ponds and geysers in a rocky badland that have, not hot, but freezing cold waters. This water is said to keep it's cold far longer than normal when transported elsewhere.
61The Great Shells — This forgotten bay holds oysters the size of ox carts. Pried open, candlesticks, crowns, and other objects can be placed inside to be covered by mother-of-pearl.
62The Horned Rocks — A rocky mountainside out of which grows sets of horns. There are various spirals, curvatures, and length. If a horn is cut, another will begin slowly growing from the same spot. These horns, when carved properly, can be heard farther than should be possible when sounded.
63Sculpted Forest — Old oak forest carved in marble. Each leaf and acorn detailed realistically. It's said each acorn if planted and watered, will grow a 20 x 20 x 3 section of stone wall.
64Rust Beach — Run of beach made of rust. Rumored that a god corrodes under the water nearby. Eat the rust to immunize your body to magic.
65Glass Fumaroles — Natural glass extrudes in strange spindles from these steaming, sulfurous holes. Glass so pure and fine that, if struck, the noise made is only heard by elves.
66Leaves with No Trees — These grassy plains are covered in colorful leaves in the fall, though there are no trees for miles.
67Hidden Valley — A small, fertile valley with a creek that no one knows about, but you. Maps don't show it. Travelers will route around it and not realize the extra time their journey took.
68Beast Amphitheaters — Natural, rocky concavities where, at midnight, all the animals from miles around gather in, to sit in silent circles until dawn.
69Twin Valley — Every tree here is next to an identical tree, every flower, an identical flower. Each squirrel you see, each deer is a pair.
70Punctured Lands — These grassy, foggy flatlands are treacherous because the ground is full of holes. Fist-sized to horse-sized, the holes plunge hundreds of feet into darkness. Listening at the holes, will let you here the voices of the dead, different hole, different voice.
71Bright Hills — Everything here seems normal, except there are no shadows.
72Coral Road — A sinuous, bright-red road that might be aeons old, it curves to miss mountains no longer there, bridges over rivers now dry, before disappearing under the sea.
73Wandering Grove — Within a large area of plains, a particular grove of trees is never seen moving but often found in different locations. Some say it hides a ancient shrine and moves to keep it safe.
74Cypress Stands — These low, rolling hills are peppered with lines and stands of Italian Cypress. Close inspection reveals they outline former lanes and villas. Somehow, the trees survived the complete destruction of the rest. Reading a map here will cause ancient dwellings, cities, and roads that no longer exist, to appear on the map.
75Winter Boulders — Above the tree line there is a area that looks clear, but in winter fallen snow reveals the shapes of invisible boulders. The boulders have centuries of graffiti and recesses carved into them. Placing objects into recesses will make them invisible too.
76Moth Fogs — Marshy lands where any movement causes millions of tiny, white moths to rise up and flutter about. They are drawn to faces.
77Rushlight Berries — Inedible berries that glow as bright as a candle when ripe. Dim as they overipen.
78Lichen Field — Above the treeline, a valley filled with yellow-orange lichen. Eating a handfull allows a person to go a week without food.
79Balancing Bole — The trunk of what was once a huge fir balances precariously on a point jutting out from a high cliff. It is said that if you say a name as you push on the trunk it will rotate so the small end points toward where that thing is in the world.
80Balancing Rocks — Above the treeline, a whole valley filled with piles of balanced stones. Make your own pile and gain luck for as long as it stands. The higher the pile, the more luck but the more likely it will tumble once you leave.
81Sand Falls — A plateau in a desert with dunes on and around it. Every third day sand falls from above. The sand is so pure and fine it's said a person with cursed weapons or armor can remove them while standing under the fall.
82The Roots — Acres of twisted roots with no soil. Very difficult to travel through. These roots consume soil around them and cuttings are feared by farmers and desired by sappers.
83Dark Water — Somewhere in the ocean a patch of dark water exists. It is oily and stinks like-rotting fruit. Bathe in it and animals will ignore you for a day.
84God's Breath — These rocky flats are blasted by a continuous downward wind. So loud that speech is impossible. It is said someone cannot be scryed for as long as God breathes on them.
85The Shells — Deep in a desert a vast area of pinkish dunes. These are actually made up of millions of tiny shells. Placing the shells in water causes them to revivify as tiny molluscs and crustaceans that are voracious and consume any meat nearby.
86Grey Hills — These low rolling hills are a sickly grey and made almost entirely of clay. They are treacherous in wet weather but folks say bricks made from the clay cannot be broken by siege engines.
87Keep Tree — From a distance it looks like a stand but it's actually one huge, ring-like tree. With one entrance and a clearing inside some thirty feet across, many tribes, patrols, and pilgrims have sought shelter here over the years. Oaths made inside bind like a geas.
88The Honeycomb — Red sandstone with tight, twisting passages and holes of different sizes worn by wind and ancient water ways. The best shelter for miles in the badlands, it's said you can hear the conversations of all those that have camped there before in the wind moaning through the crannies.
89God's Bowl — In the floor of a rocky mountain valley a massive vein of white quartz holds a pool of water. This water will never freeze even if taken from the pool.
90Wight Woods — Evergreen trees that do not move in the wind but move as if by wind if the dead are moving near them.
91Dark Ice Caves — The ice these caves are found in is a dark, purplish hue. It melts to water of the same color. This water freezes in darkness regardless of temperature. Treasured by desert castellans.
92The Great Stillwater — This lake in the center of a northern bog is deathly still. In fact no ripples move on the water when it is disturbed. If some of this is poured in another body, that water will still for an hour.
93Ghost Road — Parties traveling on this ancient road see no one behind them and a party far in front of them that looks identical to theirs. All parties see this. Two parties traveling at the same time will not see each other until close enough to be mingling horses.
94The Old Teeth — A line of obsidian plugs jutting from a rocky landscape. Fires set next to them produce no smoke, as if the plugs breathe it all in.
95The Round Pools — A flat, stone plain dotted with small, circular pools. The fresh water never dries up and bathing in one will speed healing of small wounds. Bathing in several in the proper intervals will heal completely and even restore limbs.
96Ghost Creek — The loud sound of water flowing in a creek is heard here, but no water. Containers left out overnight will fill slowly. Drinking the water in them will allow a person to rest without sleeping — like an elf- for a week.
97Honeyed Cliffs — Tall cliffs so covered in wild beehives that honey drips down along the length of them. This honey is said to preserve things indefinitely and locals place the bodies of revered dead all along the bottom of the cliffs.
98Root Cavern — A vast cavern with roots in place of stalagmites and stalactites. They drip thick sap which will trap the unwary. If thinned with alcohol and drunk, it is said to make the skin bark-hard for a day.
99Stalking Creek — Travellers through dry hills will sometimes encounter a creek that they cannot shake. Hiking directly away from it reveals that it curves around the hill you just hiked over. Once the creek is seen parties lose their sense of direction and will remain lost. It is said hiking up the creek will reveal the last party lost to the creek around the source and free travellers from its hold.
100The Barrens — Huge swath of forest that appears devastated by a recent fire. Walking into it will drain strength from a person (drain 1 hp per turn of hiking) while revitalizing the small area around their path.
1d30 Random Encounter Table Of Remains From Azathoth The Blind And Idiot God
Swords & Stitchery - Old Time Sewing & Table Top Rpg Blog by Needles
d30Result
1A large alien city block of burnt out and abandon organic buildings tumbles through space. There are ancient shadows on the walls of buildings. Here and there are glowing lights that can be seen in windows. There is 40% chance of encountering undead or some other horror of insanity left behind.
2A giant 50 meter long giant alien skull scrubbed clean of all traces of decay. The thing however has giant gems for eyes and these things seem to glow with an inner light as if from some long dead soul.
3A miasma of slime, jellies, and vapors clings to each other but seems to be pulling apart and fighting with themselves. The touch of one of these things inflicts radiation  burns and dissolves melt. Flesh runs like hot wax under the touch of such things
4A strange cloud flows through the night sky, this thing is a riot of insanity, colours, and horrors beyond imaging. The night sky is full of the stuff for a moment and then it begins to float gently down from up in the upper atmosphere. The stuff has a horrid scent, and it seems obscenely alive and full of alien possibilities. Almost human shapes beckon from within it.
5A 500 ton rock of gold tumbles through space, scattered across it's surface are still living alien humanoid beings screaming silently into space. A closer look reveals parts and pieces of buildings, technological items, and worse.
6A giant alien insectoid arm hundreds of meters long with horrid burns found on the thing here and there. The thing is partially alive yet and twitches every once in a while. Something strange is clutched in its digits.
7A semi digested building tumbles end over end. The still living remains of zombies clutch helplessly to unlife as they scream silently through space.
8A giant space craft bits and pieces of it missing silently sails on ward ever on ward. The half missing tail section is still on fire as jets of plasma leak endlessly into space. There are five second transmissions coming from it over the FTL communication bands.
9A section of a small American town is half melted and turned to glass in the cold depths of space. There are buildings untouched here and there. While burnt out trees all around and embedded skeletons half sticking out of the pavement of the place. A faint radio signal plays some forgotten golden oldie from 1954.
10An alien sky scraper tumbles end over end. It is in perfect shape except that the windows of the structure are living eyes. They look out into the universe and the structure almost seems to be breathing raggedly and it seems in pain.
11A giant burnt out carcass of some 100 meter long space going creature. The half rotten carcass is covered over in hundreds of thousands of teeth marks resembling arcane writing.
12A small red school house perfectly preserved floats through space on a small parcel of land. The glowing red eyes of school children look out here and there from the windows of the place as it floats away.
13A single radioactive humanoid skeleton made out of emerald floats through space. The bones have been strung with golden wire. The thing almost seems alive because it is! The thing will move with a life of it's own.
14A giant gem with a small living humanoid inside of it. He beats soundlessly against the middle of the gem. There are pieces of alien flesh on the side of the gem.
15An entire alien space craft floats and tumbles through space. There are thousands of bite marks across the surface of the vessel. One lone captain waves to anyone who sees the bridge just as he eats a human hand.
16An incredibly complex looking device hundreds of meters long vibrates, moves, and malfunctions as it moves through space only to jump into a higher dimension seconds later. There is a burst of alien static and some chatter on subspace radio but then it's as if the thing never existed it.
17Millions of alien corpses float through space, their faces all locked in stares of horror and all with almost the exact same look of absolute and utter terror.
18A 1957 Ford green car with it's headlights working and the radio playing. The interior is covered in gigantic blood splatters which have freeze dried in place. There is a thumping coming from the trunk of the car.
19A giant phallic looking organic organ belonging to some giant alien creature. There is what appears to be a large bite taken out of the organ. It is 50 meters long and rotten looking.
20A giant fleet of Chinese junks with hundreds of net's used for fishing flayed and burnt. Each vessel is lit with a halo of St.Elmo's fire and moment's later they all vanish without a trace.
21A perfectly preserved corpse of an android. The positronic matrices of the thing is locked into a series of sub routines of abject insanity and horrors. The thing seems locked into a horrid nightmare.
22A flash frozen corpse of a woman whose clothes seem from the 1980's. Amazingly here corpse while dead support's a still living mind. The corpse while dead is host to a very dangerous alien organism.
23A giant whose 45 meter corpse is home to several alien species which worship the blind and idiot god who placed them on this mound of rotting meat. They will begin singing Azathoth's praises the second anyone finds them and try to drive crazy any one they happen upon. The corpse occasionally twitches in time to their singing.
24A bound and chained being whose actually a living sacrifice for the idiot god. The living being will try to sacrifice itself and murder anyone it comes across. The thing is utterly insane and only wishes to murder in the name of it's god.
25Three hundred tons of burnt and melted office equipment along with the manager's corpse who was drained into the dimensional vortex. The corpse of the being will raise as a zombie in seventy two hours.
26A preserved living brain of some ancient wizard locked with a glowing jar of liquid. The wizard will try to mentally possess anyone it comes across. The wizard will try to sacrifice anyone to the idiot god for some great favor.
27An ancient preserved corpse of a samurai warrior in full armor who is fused to said armor. The samurai is seeking his lost love who was a sacrifice to the ancient horror.  He needs the support of some very special individuals to find her. He needs your help.
28A small silver craft with it's cyborg pilot who has been rendered insane after being eaten and excreted by the ancient idiot god. He is seeking something but has lost all purpose as to what. The cyborg has a collection of valuable alien artifacts. It is unsure of it's purpose but will murder anyone wearing the colour blue.
29The still sleeping form of a star spawn of Cthulhu, it will awaken if disturbed. In it's claws it clutches a rod of rulership belonging to Cthulhu
30A refried but living larva of the Outer God's and the thing is hatching. It will be hungry and very dangerous as well as trying to spread insanity wherever it can.
Sandbox Rumours
from Hack & Slash
d30Result
1A huge dire wolf, apparently immune to magic, is organizing the wolves in the wood.
2Evil mercenaries are constructing a fortress not far from the community.
3The tomb of a powerful wizard, filled with magic items, has sunk into the swamp.
4Mysterious groaning sounds come from a haunted wood at night.
5Bugbears are demanding a toll on a well-traveled bridge.
6A blackguard is organizing monsters in an area.
7An emissary going into a hostile kingdom needs an escort.
8A wizard needs a particularly rare spell component found only in the deep jungle.
9Gravediggers have discovered a huge, ghoul-filled catacomb under the cemetery.
10Evil clerics gather in secret to summon a monstrous god to the world.
11A wizard is buried in a trap-filled tomb with her powerful magic items.
12Lizardfolk riding dragon turtles sell their services as mercenaries to the highest bidder.
13Gargoyles are killing giant eagles in the mountains.
14A druid needs help defending her grove against goblins.
15All the dwarves in an underground city have disappeared.
16A fire elemental has escaped from a wizards lab.
17Undead shadows vex a large library, especially an old storeroom long left undisturbed.
18A shapechanged mind flayer is gathering mentally controlled servitors.
19A lonely mountain pass is guarded by a powerful sphinx denying all passage.
20Burgulers broke in to a wealthy merchants shop, but apparently didn't take anything.
21The town may be hireing mercenaries to augment the town guard.
22A new inn is opening in town.
23The duke has been acting strangely.
24A rare plant has suddenly boomed in population on a local farm.
25Various monsters have long preyed upon people from within the sewers of a major city.
26Local bandits have joined forces with a tribe of ogres.
27An island at the center of the lake is actually the top of a strange, submerged fortress.
28A infestation of stirges drives yuan-ti closer to civilized lands.
29People grow suspicious of half-orc merchants peddling gold dragon parts in the market.
30A strange green smoke billows out of a cave near a mysterious ruin.
31Mysterious merchants sell faulty magic items in town and then attempt to slink away.
32Cultists are kidnapping potential sacrifices.
33A huge gemstone supposedly lies within an ancient ruined monastery.
34Barge pirates have made a deal with a covey of hags and exact a high toll to use the river.
35Ogre magi have torn up a village in a violent rage.
36A map showing the location of an ancient magic forge is discovered.
37Two orc tribes wage a bloody war.
38A recently recovered artifact causes arcane spellcasters? powers to go awry.
39An enchanter is compelling others to steal for him.
40A gate to the Lower Planes threatens to bring more demons to the world.
41A plague brought by wererats threatens a community.
42Clerics who have resurrected a long-dead hero discovered she?s not what they thought.
43Colossal vermin are straying out of the desert to attack settlements.
44The tomb of an old wizard has been discovered.
45A clutch of wyverns is preying upon sheep as well as shepherds.
46There is fierce fighting in the northlands.
47A band of adventures fled into a ruined fortress tower filled with treasure and monsters.
48The eastern witches and warlocks have discovered a new type of magic.
49An army of statues in the south has begun to move.
50A mad witch has been found in the burned remains of her abode, her servants all killed by her hand.
51A Powerful Good wizard is dying and is said to be seeking information on lichedom.
52An alchemist has lost a shipment of supplies to hijackers. If she doesn't get them back, she faces bankruptcy.
53Cultists need to recover an artifact to summon a giant sleeping demon.
54A wizard in a manse to the north of town is flaunting guild laws.
55Several daring thefts have been made upon towers in the city.
56A group of dragons has banded together to increase their power.
57Demons are possesing monsters and causing havoc.
58A killer is loose and stuffing bodies into chimneys.
59A large bridge to the east has been destroyed by unknown forces.
60Something is preventing huge hordes of humanoids from leaving the Praxer Mountains.
61A mage's familiar has escaped and been said to have summoned a demon.
62Reports have come in of a living dungeon.
63A group of liches has formed an eldrich pact with evil dragons.
64Rumors of an ogre civil war have been filtering into town.
65Undead scorpians have been accosting people and robbing them without killing them in the south.
66Lizard men have recently begun approching human settlements with envoys seeking peace.
67A powerful angel is hiding in the city performing good deeds unseen.
68Demons have been taking the shape of men and hiding to escape hell.
69A new brothel is opening in town, and they are seeking talent.
70A halfling wizard has discovered a new powerful school of magic.
71A medusa is said to be the head of a merchant guild.
72Basilisk's have started appearing in the forest to the north.
73The Witch Queen has been defeated by a band of adventuerers.
74The Witch Queen was in contact with the Mountain King in the Praxter Mountains.
75Dwarven immagrants are arriving in southern cities in droves.
76Everyone who enters the Praxter Mountains dies.
77A mages experiement has caused a disaster in a tower to the east.
78Talking monkeys reside in the forest.
79There is a Witch in the swamp to the south who brews potions of a legendary efficacy.
80Primative heathens are throwing parties in the woods.
81A magical accident has opened a gate that has loosed magic-eating monsters into the world.
82An ancient evil cult banished long ago is said to be returning.
83A great treasure was discovered by the dwarves in the Praxter mountains.
84A Vampire is seeking to release a great evil.
85Man-Eating Ghouls prowl the swamp for food.
86Obelisks stand in the mountains that hold the key to great power, None who have sought these have returned.
87A band of evil gnomlings lives in the forest.
88There is a wolf pack to the north, they are the pets of a mighty giant.
89An ancient demonic evil has seized control of giants.
90The Mountain King is possessed by an evil force.
91Eye Tyrants are arriving in huge numbers from the realms above.
92Dragons can sense when their kin are harmed or killed.
93When an Eye Tyrant is killed, a curse is bestowed that causes all other Eye Tyrants to seek the killers.
94There are many old ruins in the swamp. They are from a previous Aeon.
95Many of the old ruins in the swamp contain great and ancient treasure.
96A palace of pure gold and steel is hidden in the mountains.
97A mighty pyramid tomb lies to the north, theft-proof, it still contains ancient treasures.
98A great dragon was slain, the witch queen banished, and the spirit of the ancient barbarian king destroyed by beings from another realm.
99[Player Character] is said to be a lover of [same sex]
100When you die, you get turned into a dragon!
In The Marketplace
from The Dungeon Dozen
d12Result
1Butcher w/variety of Underworld meats, dubious sausages, menacing terrines, weird pté, will pay bounty for reasonably fresh monster corpses
2Kiosk occupied by capitalist sorcerer selling horses w/full tack shrunken to chihuahua size, resume full stature upon command, comes with reinforced backpack habitarium, tiny bales of feed, extremely pricey
3Entirely corrupt Royal Inspectors w/squad of elite soldiers shake down dealers, accept only the juiciest of bribes, add arbitrary transaction fees to deals-in-progress, universal acclaim to any who could make this menace disappear
4Illegal dungeon intoxicant salesman on home-crafted in-line skates zooms around openly pitching wares, issues obscene gestures to 3, above
5Gnarly-looking tattooist, shirtless, broad grin reveals decorative faux fangs, shaved hairless but for multi-pronged goatee, inked from crown to crotch in riot of styles, art samples on stretched human skin, audible groans from within tent enclosure
6Ambush cleric of the mighty god of beat-downs: magically conceals self, beans chosen subject w/mace, subsequently revived in back alley under full proselytizing assault
7Bearded witch under black tarp will curse enemies for cash, outcomes range from minor skin eruptions to howling madness to lethal afflictions, priced accordingly
8Foreign vendor sells unusual footwear, mostly mundane w/extremely pointy toes, new line of troll-rubber boots that never wear out, enhance sneakiness
9Levitating mystic w/brass bowl full of coins, opens eyes and issues single dark oracular statement only if exact change deposited
10Multiple dealers offer stilts and grotesque papier mché heads to mark upcoming Festival of the Giants
11Squad of ex-hirelings w/visible wounds selling off goods from party of adventurers killed by poison gas trap, partial dungeon map among items, other tips available for cash payment, will never ever venture below again
12Dungeon crawl puppet show, picaresque featuring Quazemax the quasi-lich's underworld conquests, magically enhanced production values, buckets of gore, demographic appears to comprise children/simplest louts and warriors, watching entire program yields 1d12 mostly true dungeon rumors
Drunk Jerks With Swords: Random encounters in the saloon
from The Dungeon Dozen
d12Result
1Sweaty, brutish lout fresh from the wilderness in owlbear-skin suit, giant moustache, smells like beef jerky, utters continuous hate speech against demihumans/savages/foreigners
2Tall, slender but w/ sinews like steel bands, mismatched bits of gear and armor from defeated foes, despises holy men and paladins because who do they think they are?
3Scarred escapee from generations of servitude would gleefully hack member of gentry at any opportunity, froths at any obsequious displays, counsels hirelings/henchmen to abandon their masters, collection of teeth knocked out of noble heads
4Old warrior, too broke to retire, shrivelled but w/ highly refined murder skills, wracking cough, likes to pick on the weak, issues stream of insult comic jabs until target provoked, hides behind lout in entry 1
5Bloated creep, trickle of saliva from slack lip, incredibly strong but only good for about a minute of combat before wheezing, challenges big guys to feats of strength w/heavy wagering, trash talk, won't pay out if defeated because victor must have cheated
6Paranoid fighter w/one giant hand won't stop talking about the red reptilians who actually control everything, takes challenges to world view as personal affront
7Charred fireball survivor can smell a magic-user a stone's throw away and unwilling to take any chances
8Barrel-bellied gentleman, plate armor straining to contain ever expanding girth, feels all disputes should be resolved via competitive drinking
9Constable relieved of duties after questionable handling of arrest would love to vent spleen in violent outburst, but to do so lawfully must be struck first
10Well-spoken cretin espouses half-baked barroom Social Darwinism, goes on at length about how the poor get what they deserve
11Famous local outlaw fresh from the tailor in fashionable togs, drops silver indiscriminately, gleefully buys round after round, involuntarily hinting at big score he's not supposed to talk about
12Beloved hero of the previous decade, once-resplendent martial gear now stained and rusty, a bit weird after the dragon bit his head, staggers into people at random w/jostling force, demands apology, saloon patrons very protective
"It came From The Polar Vortex!"
from Swords & Stitchery
d30Result
11d8 Cannibalistic Ice hobbits 2 hit points 8 armor class 1d4 damage 20% chance of being infected with Ice rot.
2A mated pair of ice drakes out hunting in the snow
3Troop of Wendigo out to wreck your day and hunting. Double hit point yeti
4Snow queen traveling between realms with routine
5Ithaqua (the Wind-Walker or the Wendigo) with worshipers riding the clouds over head. 30% chance of noticing your party
6Double Headed Ice Elemental
7Christmas Elves utterly lost and arguing about directions. 10% chance of having a magic item in their sack
8Ice Dragon hunting in the area
9Time Lost Imperial Scout Walker looking for ATT unit
10Time Lost ATT unit with snowtroopers, 40% of attacking nearest moving targets
11Snow mobile rider from the 1980's something Winter Olympics
121d20 evil ice gnomes looking to loot food and valuables
131d4 Ice Warriors from Mars acting as scouts for a coming invasion
141d4 yeti warriors scouting for their tribe. 10% of attacking otherwise they move on unless attacked
15Time Lost Rebel Alliance patrol on Tauntans completely lost. 10% of them shooting first. 2nd level fighters armed with blasters 1d4 damage per shot 8 charges and a 30 yard range
16Gate way to Cryonax's realm with a 20% every hour of a monster coming from his realm to investigate
171d6 ice trolls double hit points looking for fresh meat.
181d4 zombie Santas looking for fresh brains. As per normal D&D zombies.
19Ice walker tribe barbarians utterly lost looking for the portal home. 1st level barbarians armed with battle axes and daggers
20A scouting expedition of Dwarves looking a nearby mountain as a possible mining site. Not lost but slightly confused by their location. 2nd level fighters armed with short swords, shield, and very bad attitudes.
21Mi Go warriors(AC 6 Hit Dice 4) looking for victims for soul sucking experiments, wearing heat webs and armed with 1d4 damage lightning guns capable of firing 20 feet.
22Ice Ghost of 1920's plow driver looking for next victim
23A recruiting party of clerics looking for converts for Cryonax, 3rd level evil clerics armed with ice wands and literature for their god.
24A one eyed man in a wide hat walking along with a staff and followed by two crows. Smiles, nods, and continues on his way.
25A Gypsy wagon with a bunch of alien acrobats and performers who have become lost in the snow storms.
26A manic from the Look Out hotel armed with an ax looking to murder anyone who gets in his way. 2nd level fighter, armed with a +2 ax of slaying
27Ice Resistant Cyborg(AC 6 8 hit points) armed with a wand of freezing who is looking to freeze product.
28Cryonax Prince of elemental evil cold creatures with a routine of 1d4 frost giants!
291d4 Ice devils out to retrieve a soul that has escaped from Hell. They will slay and collect anyone they run across. Very cross, evil, and dangerous.
30Ymir and an army of frost giants trying to escape their prison into our realm during the 'polar vortex'!
So You've Decided To Rest In Town Before Going Back Into The Dungeon!
From Playing D&D With Porn Stars
(Roll D100 once per day of rest)
d100Result
1A trading caravan arrives in town, selling unusual and exotic items from distant lands.
2Taxman has found out about the PCs expedition, demands (roll d4) 20%, 25%, 40%, or 50% of GP found.
3There's a fancy party and everyone important is invited, the PCs aren't.
4Whatever passes as the town's sewer backs up and produces: (1d6)
1-3 — An unwholesome encounter.
4-5 — An unpleasant discovery
6 — An unexpected windfall.
5A group of priests on a pilgrimage is passing through. They offer (knowledge/magical healing/poison/assassination/lovemaking/skill training).
6Another party is being feted by the local nobility for exactly the deed the PCs party has done.
7Another party is being prosecuted by the local law for exactly the deed the PCs party has done.
8Festival of Lies; to please the devils of deception everyone is lying today. Speaking the truth brings bad luck. (roll d4: 1-2 PCs are told immediately, 3-4 They aren't)
9The city is re-enacting their victory against Orcish hordes twenty years ago. The city watch will be portraying the Orcs, and they're fed up with losing every year.
10Some underground dwelling animals are collapsing one random building every night. So far 1d10 people have died.
11Rioters are building barricades on the main street and encouraging the populace to rise up against their oppressors.
12The dungeon denizens offer a bounty of 1.000 GP per PC, dead or alive.
13The denizens of the town are doing their normal routines but fast asleep, Disturbing their routines makes them fall down catatonic
14As you approach the Square of Orgos, Lord of the Dance, a miraculous site greets you. There is a hole in the center of the square. It is about 50 yards across, and, though these lands are pleasant and warm, bitter winds howl forth from the void in a blizzard of snow and sleet. From below, varicolored lights shine forth, and a pulsing, pounding beat can be heard.
15Fox's Festivus! Folk come from farms afar for a day of sports, melee, arts & crafts, cooking, agriculture, science, alchemy, puppetry, blackmail, bribery, theft and/or foul rituals. Opposed skill check vs the best of the backward, with participants risking ridicule, injury or misfortune for gains of fame, cash and prizes.
16The townsfolk are distraught that somebody's swiped the magic amulet off the restraining sarcophagus that stops the townsfolk from turning into vampires. It must be put back immediately.
17A loudly proselytizing cleric steps down from his wooden crate and confronts one of the PCs telling them he has vital information that could help them, repeating some cryptic information in his tirade. Before they depart he delivers a minor prophecy of little consequence, and when the prophecy comes true later that evening afterward the cleric is nowhere to be found.
18A local landowner starts expanding the town's waterfront. Even if there isn't a significant body of water around.
19You Klutz! You dropped the ring (important item, key, etc.) down into the sewer! (Zak's note: I wouldn't just impose this, myself, I'd make up somebody trying to steal it.
20The neighbouring town starts poaching animals, goods and people. They're building some sort of giant boat/wickerman/museum.
21The midnight wizard aspirant procession. Students done with the cloistered college life may be wooed from the sidelines to join an adventuring party.
22An obviously poor woman struggling to carry two large baskets filled with dirty laundry is knocked down in front of the PCs by two teenage boys who run off with her small purse of coins. One of the boys is an important noble's son who is bored and whiling away his time with mischief.
23 A chicken comes cartwheeling and sidewinding down the street between legs and through the crowd screaming "Help! He's trying to kill me! He already killed my brother!" and soon after a butcher comes chasing after the chicken. If the PC interferes, only he/she can understand the chicken (it has Int 8 and can speak to the PC but is otherwise unremarkable).
24Local graveyard is vandalised. (1d6 3 times)
The locals blame:
1-3 — Visiting adventurers (ie the PCs)
4-5 — Undead
6 — Local youths
It was actually:
1 — Another adventuring party.
2 — A hireling of the PCs
3-5 — Bored local youths
6 — Undead
It unleashes:
1-3 — Mob of villagers with pitchforks.
4-5 — An investigation by the watch.
6 — An ancient and unspeakable curse (ie Undead)
25Ergotism outbreak - you shouldn't have eaten the rye-bread. The ground erupts with demonic monkey-children and furniture comes to life, installing a despotic regime (1d6 dmg/day plus confusion effects, save vs. poison once a day to come to your senses)
26Revelers of the Goddes of Dentures volunteer to knock your teeth out but expect donations<. Some of the townsfolk actually happily pay up, and tell you you will find mamtaftic demptures undr your millow the next day. (You will find dentures under your pillow the next morning, delivered by 1d4th level thieves during the night. Their value is at about 50% of what you donated the day before. People who don't donate money will get a number of random teeth from random people (1-in-20 chance they're all yours).
27Ergativity outbreak: it becomes unclear who is the subject and who the object of actions. After it's over, decide by die roll if the players robbed or were robbed, the townsfolk burned themselves or something else etc.
28Witch Hunt! Foreigner/Traveling woman (PC or otherwise) accused of responsibility for fatal overnight combustion of a pair of townschildren and a portion of their cabin. Angry Mob led by militant preachers scour town for evidence/witches/occult-objects/justice.
29Scandal in the marketplace as it is discovered that someone has been tainting the flour with chalk and other, less wholesome, substances. Fingers point at the miller, the merchant and the baker but each denies it was them.
30A previous (alleged?) "conquest" from the player's night of drunken debauchery comes waddling up extremely pregnant, priest in tow, "How dare you leave me, you bastard!"
31Low level minion comes to town in disguise. Offers PC valuable help or insight if they kill his rival/boss on their next trip in. 1 in 6 chance its a setup.
32That person you were speaking to yesterday. The one who was going to do that thing for you? Yes them. They've vanished. What's more nobody else has any idea who you're talking about. Even the ones who introduced you or were there.
33Weeping widows of the slain come to town and harangue PCs for their crimes.
34PC wakes up, discovering that previous trip was actually eerie prophetic dream. Everything reset. Things may play out differently next time.? (You keep the xp though.
35A cowled and cloaked redhead brushes hastily into a secluded PC, taking their hand and insistently pressing upon them a (d6)
  1. Severed Finger
  2. Bloody Scarf
  3. Runic Tattoo
  4. Map
  5. Potion
  6. Magical, long lived worm of continual light
She whispers "Thank you. It's... Just be careful" sincerely, before kissing said PC lightly on the cheek and fleeing from the sounds of a pursuing mob.
36A silver man who is hard of hearing asks passersby the direction to the shop of the tinker named Dr Giraham Klark.
37That person you were speaking to yesterday. The one who was going to do that thing for you? Yes them. They've vanished. What's more all the locals think you're responsible.
38There's some recruiting for the king's army going on, every healthy and able person who's not a vassal or tenant is pressed into service. War is coming.
39Somebody (burned all crops/killed all cattle) and now hell breaks loose as everybody tries to hoard as much food as possible. Also, people (PCs) may be blamed (for disturbing monsters better left alone).
40A group of youths cruelly harass a man wearing eyeshades and carrying a cane. They will be found the next morning slain with a long, slender blade.
41Some slave traders arrived at the market, selling people the PCs may know.
42A "bathrobed" prophet comes to town alone, claiming to know the answers to all your questions. However his answers are cryptic and explains away any confusion by claiming that inquirers do not really understand their questions. He gatherings a significant following and leaves with a significant group in tow. They never return but he may be encountered, alone, in other towns.
43Agents of Continental/State authority pass through town, taking census and checking legitimacy of vagrants, bohemians etc. Illegals of insufficient evasion/bribery/bluffing skill are awarded (d3):
  1. Fine of D6x100gp
  2. 1D10 Lashes (1 damage each, save for half)
  3. Escorted to nearest city for processing.
44Invasion! A nearby enemy has marched an army on the town and either a) (if walls) has the town surrounded and supply lines cut-off or b) (no walls) is engaged in a pitched battle with local guard/militia/townsfolk.
45 While the PCs were raiding the dungeon, a party of dungeon denizens was raiding the town and stole all the healing potions/scrolls, which they will henceforth be using.
46Local Baron/Burgermeister/Warlord demands levies of D10% of population's wealth, military service, or any able mounts for a raid/war/defence.
47A prestigious mercenary company is also passing through, recruiting and flooding the market with bits of loot from their last campaign.
48Community Chest! Random PC is the lucky recipient of the annual village prize, a randomly allocated Community Chest containing: 1 potion, 2D100gp, A fine handcrafted Cap/Scarf/Belt/or Boots, Glazed Ham, Fruit platter, fine scotch and a sturdy, embroidered blanket. CHA check to see if villagers are supportive and cheerful or sour and resentful.
49The circus is in town!
50A group of 10d100 refugees arrives, fleeing an enemy heading this way! Denizens are (packing their stuff, too/trying to get rid of the refugees).
51
The city wall is being reinforced (3 x 1d6):
1) A moat is being dug out
2) a layer of brick is added
3) iron staffs are driven 10 feet into the ground to keep out tunnelers and sappers
4) new towers added
5) reinforced gates
6) double portcullises put in place
The work done is is of
1-2) questionable
3-4) normal
5-6) outstanding
quality due to/despite
1-2) heavy bribing of the work force
3-4) the burgers financing this themselves
5-6) the queen paying for the security of her subjects.
52You buy very smelly cheese rations. Very smelly.
53Brawl! PCs aggressed by braviards whilst vulnerable in bathrooms/bedrooms/bar etc. D6 damage to each PC (or resolve an unarmed combat against 6 professional ruffians).
54The PCs learn that another adventuring party has beaten them to something/quest they were planning to do/go after.
55A scruffy young man offers the party 10gp to paste up a stack of posters around town. Non-locals must make an appropriate skill check to realize the posters are seditious before they get caught carrying them.
56 During the night a horse/amorous couple/stableboy knocks over a lamp in the Inn's stables. You awake to the smoke as the Inn itself catches fire. Grab what you can!
57You happen to bump into an extremely important NPC who is (perhaps uncharacteristically) alone and could use some assistance. This could go very well or very poorly for you.
58Harvest, repairs, wrangling, weird rituals or some other business needs some extra doing, offering able bodied PCs a chance to earn 2D6gp each (or more if they can save a bunch of labour with magic). CHA check to befriend some local colleague/employer.
59A lovely moon shines down on the city tonight, and it's unusually mild and nice. People bring out benches and barbeques, and relish in a night that is as peaceful as it should be.
60Fire! The baker's catches alight during the night and is quickly engulfed. Fire spreads quickly across the merchant district and threatens the surrounding town. There is a 4/6 chance that the fire could burn for days, dying down then rekindling when everyone's guard is down. Unless drastic action is taken most of the town could be consumed. Rumours spread even faster than the flames that the fire is no accident. Outsiders are blamed and many are attacked by angry locals. The local Nobles send out their own agents to protect important outsiders but others are murdered in the streets. The PCs, irrespective of personal standing and acts of heroism, are liable to come under attack by locals during and after the blaze. After the fire the town eventually recovers, with a new street layout and innovative architecture.
61Returning to the hostel, a small crowd chokes the street, some in retreat. Loud retching can be head near the front of the crowd. 1D6 individuals stand outside the the hostel doubled over dry heaving or actively void their bowels. More stumble from the inns doors in varied states of distress. And this is where you're sleeping!
62Everybody in the town is the Padre's protégé, and so are you if you stay for more than one night. Payday.
63There are a whole heap of filthy, spiteful rats in a bunch of the town's basements, and the PCs are offered D6x50gp/XP to clear the things out. It's filthy work and no hiding it; participants must save CON/poison or take D6 damage and lose 2 from all attributes for D3 days from illness.
64 You accidentally run afoul of a silly and ridiculous local ordinance (such as camels can only cross in the middle of the street or hats may not have a purple feather on Tuesdays). Whether or not it is true, the watch patrol is shaking you down for a donation for the Watchmen's Benevolent Association.
65Nuns Errant, robed in grey and rusty orange, shuffle into town, bearing censers, wagons and animals. For inflated prices they sell combat trained foxes, cruel copper spiders, clerical scrolls, foreign maps, tomes of fact, tomes of fiction, everburning candles, love potions and graceful, glorious steeds with shimmering bronze manes.
66One of the town's priests tells everybody to cover their door posts with the blood of a lamb because an angel of his/her deity will come this night and kill everybody who didn't follow the advice. The denizens (do as told/hang the priest), the angel (does appear/doesn't appear).
67Census. The forces that be need to take down everyone's name, age, and riffle through their stuff in order to estimate their worth.
68Manic Itinerant Preacher, Edson De Villiers, employs logical fallacies and insulting rhetoric to rally impressionable youths in the town square for questionable forest cult membership (Future quest?) CHA check by sufficiently angered and inspiring PC may break up the foolishness and sway D6 youths (light irregular infantry) to join them for meagre food and pay.
69Farmers' fair. Farmers from around six hexes come to town to show off their bestest produce. As tradition demands, the first price is a choice of an oxen or a cart full of second price entrants.
70Villager of D100 years and random gender is dragged into the streets and savagely beaten with sticks. Dies of wounds and eaten by stray cats/badgers in D6 hours, alone in the street, wailing and in agony.
71A noble's wedding isn't perfect without some colorful guests like the PCs.
72A noble's wedding isn't perfect without some colourful attraction... like some wretched, unnatural creature, dragged from the cursed depths and locked in a cage for entertainment. Reward of HDx100gp for any such creatures delivered in the next D10 days, doubled if sufficient discretion allows the noble to claim responsibility.
73A breeding program is executed in this town, everybody with an ability score of 16+ in Str, Con, Dex, or Cha qualifies automatically and is asked for participation (10d10 gp per offspring).
74A Freakshow Carnival comes to town! Carnival Barkers attempt to recruit all demi-humans maybe even resorting to kidnapping if they are particularly freakish. Rigged games of chance have a base 10% chance of success and 50% of the time return counterfeit coin or cursed prizes.
75In the middle of the night, a cat wanders into where the PC's sleep, and speaks to one of them (random roll), "foretelling" her/his death the next day. Said PC must save vs fear in the first combat encounter of the next day.
76In combination with the city's coldest month, it's also Earthquake season and a minor tremor has busted all the door locks in a particular residential district. Looters abound.
77A band of (half orc barbarians/giants/half ogres) has come to town, offering their services for 1d10 gp/person and day. Several nobles and guild leaders are intrigued to settle their quarrel with their help.
77It's the annual ballgame with the next closest town! 80% of the citizens are out somewhere between this town and the next. Mobs from both towns try to get the "ball" inside the limits of the opposing polity.
78A random Petty God is in town, doing their thing: Petty Gods PDF
79You "win" the Traveler Lottery (as in: Shirley Jackson)
80The gates are locked behind you as enter and the ward is quarantined; time to bust out the plague masks. What kind of Death is it? (d4)
  1. Black
  2. Red
  3. Blistering White
  4. Divine retribution for something the PCs did
81You wake up in the morning to a mob gathered outside the inn. They are (coin toss) [heads]: Devotees and would-be sycophants; [tails]: Religious fanatics calling for your death.
82Enough people have gone missing that someone has noticed. Investigation reveals it's slavers from the coast, taking people downriver packed in barrels. They have that jiggly amber guck all over them, like you find in a canned ham.
83Kensai-equivalent seeks out party warrior, demanding a duel. Beat her and (1d4):
  1. You get to keep her weapon
  2. She swears fealty for a year and a day
  3. She returns in a week with her followers and kills you and everyone who witnessed her loss
  4. She dogs you as a villain for a few episodes before siding with you against a greater threat
84Sellswords' Candlemas: If the PCs light a black candle for, and can recount the name of every PC and hireling that has passed since the formation of the company, they earn a +d4 bonus to Luck until the next new moon. (Miss any and their ghosts haunt you until you put their spirits to rest.)
85Streets filled with local religious festival, potentially involving fasting (50%), feasting (70%), self-flagellation (40%), sacrifice (40%, with rolls under 10% indicating human sacrifice) and abstaining from normal business practices (80%). Festival lasts 1d12 days; participation or lack of participation are equally likely to cause offense unless the characters are charming (charisma check) or familiar with the rites (intelligence check for clerics).
86A funeral procession for a beloved, local mage or cleric. Dozens of students, followers, henchmen, fans, etc. The crew from a rival school/church have set an ambush and will attack!
87Doppleganger disguised as apprentice causes explosion at local pyromancer's guild. It is possible several experimental lab specimens have escaped.
88Wolfschuhnacht - Every year on this date an indefinite number of wolves stroll into town wearing striped woolen socks on every paw. The locals know to leave at least 2 pairs of old shoes or boots outside their door for the wolves, but it's been happening so long they didn't think they had to tell the PCs about it.
89A 1d4-th level assassin is hired to kill one of the player characters.
90While sitting watching the bustle of the town one random PC dozes off. They awake to find their purse gone.
91Unintended Consequences: If the PCs engage in a interior brawl, there is a 1-in-4 chance a lantern gets knocked over. The resulting conflagration destroys d100% of the town.
92One of the PCs gets a sudden craving for a delicacy from their home town. They must make a save versus something Wisdom related or take a -2 to all tasks for 2d6 days or until they can satisfy their craving.
93People see strange things in a building in town. 50% chance it's really haunted.
94While sitting around waiting for something the party rogue finds themselves in the perfect position to engage in some petty larceny.
95A continuously enlarging man shouting "STERN!" tries to smash his way out of the town. A small group of adventurers pursue him.
96While sitting together in a tavern the party are approached by an elderly man in a cowled robe. He offers them a job: (1d6)
1-3) He needs someone to do his gardening or similar chores.
4) He is a member of a secretive mystery cult and had lost a vital piece of cult paraphernalia which he needs help recovering.
5) He's mistaken them for assassins and wants them to kill someone
6) It's a setup. His lackeys are waiting to ambush the party at a prearranged location.
97Damn that Ale Was Strong: Fort save, DC 10 / Save vs. Poison. On a failed save, make d6 rolls on the Carousing Table.
98Hellmouth! Without warning the workhouse/orphanage collapses into a pitch black sinkhole. Besides the cloud of dust dissipating from the hole, only the highest peak of the roof can be seen, everything else fading to blackness. The screams of the dying or about to die carry on the hot air pouring from the hole: "It's after ME! Help!" is heard over and over.
99PC is approached by a mongrel (1d7)
  1. house cat
  2. small but vicious dog
  3. monkey
  4. pseudodragon
  5. sad-eyed golem
  6. large rat
  7. not-quite-evil-enough imp
If treated with kindness, it becomes a pet/familiar
100Weather changes dramatically and unexpectedly; reroll on weather table, or change fair weather to foul and vice-versa. Roll twice on following table, once for actual cause and once for the generally accepted cause by locals:
  1. Rogue wild magic in the area,
  2. Spell cast by nearby spellcaster,
  3. Intervention of the gods,
  4. Result of the prayers at the local temple.
  5. Freak weather patterns,
  6. Prophecy or Seeing,
  7. Previously unknown ability of a magical item the PCs are carrying,
  8. A shifting of the planes blurring realities together.
ONLY DRAGONS GET CRITICAL HIT TABLES!
from The Dungeon Dozen by jasons
WARNING: GROSS

Claw, claw

d12

  1. Swipe smashes jaw, pulps face, power of speech temporarily destroyed, even magical healing cannot restore the PC to original beauty
  2. All raiment/armor rent, subject left totally nude, humiliated
  3. Flung 12d12 feet in random direction, additional plummeting damage
  4. Seized in claw and squeezed for double damage, bones mashed, innards liquefied in one round unless PC somehow effects escape
  5. Carotid artery and jugular vein simultaneously compromised resulting in spectacular jetting bleed out in 3 rounds
  6. Claw enters mouth, exits brain-case, instant death
  7. Disemboweled with intestines tangled in claw, double damage, its a hell of position to be in
  8. Claws impale chest, saving throw or instant death, otherwise dragged around or smashed into comrades until somehow dislodged
  9. 1d4 random limbs go flying off
  10. Dragon punch: instant KO, two black eyes, broken nose, PC hurtles off into space, smashing into any solid object in trajectory for additional damage
  11. Stomp out: subject smashed to ground, extra damage if wearing stiff armor, 1d4 limbs broken
  12. Sliced clean through, subject split from crown to crotch, momentary pause for final utterance before falling to pieces

Bite

d12

  1. Single fang through the brain, if victim survives: personality, mental capacities permanently changed
  2. Dragon gets a good grinding chew in before letting go, double damage
  3. Bites off the hand/arm holding the weapon/magic item of greatest use against the dragon, swallows hard, grins
  4. Limb seized, victim flung into ceiling (if outdoors, smashed into the ground) for extra bonus impact damage
  5. Bitten around torso, victim must somehow escape the next round or be chomped in half
  6. Snips off random limb and down the hatch quick as you like
  7. Victim impaled on fang and stuck fast, dragon gets automatic claw, claw attack to shed the attachment
  8. The old bite and shake: no one ever survives that but PCs are special so you get a saving throw, success indicates double damage
  9. Takes a huge chunk out of neck and shoulder, bleed out in three rounds
  10. Face raked with rasped tongue, flesh sheered off leaving only skull and goggling eyes
  11. Swallowed whole, straight down the gullet, could possibly trigger involuntary eruption of breath weapon, otherwise it's off to the gizzard for a sound thrashing
  12. Head bitten off, chewed, spat out at comrades' feet
On The King's Highway
from The Dungeon Dozen
d12Result
1Mounted messenger, half-crazed, at full gallop bearing entirely false report of zombie apocalypse
2Wagon train full of circus performers led by the World's Tallest Halfling, bearer of enchanted monster-repelling amulet
3Broken mercenary war band, barely enough men on their feet to bear the fallen upon their shields, unconscious wizard employer in critical condition, returning to HQ to extract payment from next of kin
4Royal archaeologist and swarm of grad students excavate section of road where, if their wild extrapolations from scanty physical evidence are correct, the bones and legendary war-kit of an ancient hero remain undisturbed
5Battle-nurse in gleaming mail w/enchanted bludgeon of purification travels w/squad of armed aides to site of duel to save the life of stricken noble
6Stampeding war-horses with only the smoldering hips and legs of their riders remaining
7Creaking wooden wagon-tower drawn by huge cat, self-luminous green witch in black leather peers out from battlement, gleefully accosts passersby, hands out boons or banes at whim
8Culinary wizard in mystic robes, extra-tall chef hat, sets out for famine-struck province to proliferate hardy edible fungus, current generation produces semi-disturbing side-effects
9Public health official returning from investigation of plague outbreak in the grain-producing provinces, doesn't feel so hot himself 10. Wicked sorcerer wearing aviators goggles and scarf test pilots all-terrain necro-mobile propelled by scads of disembodied human legs, performance exceeds expectations, emits howls self-satisfied laughter
10Famous demigod seething with rage after learning of human mother's horrible fate: devoured by divine father, en route to holy mountain to destroy the terrifying old man, welcomes any brave enough to come along
11Disgraced former Dungeon Overlord with ragtag band of various monsters, slithers off after disastrous raid by super-powerful adventurers, seeks cozy little cave complex in the country in need of strong leadership
12Peripatetic caravan of hideously diseased leprous beggars
1d20 Random Cargoes 'What's In The Crate' Encounter Table
d20Result
1This sealed strange looking set of crates contains a protoplasmic life form. The thing was locked away and ejected into space. Vastly intelligent and malevolent this horror from beyond the stars might be considered a black pudding with an attitude.
2A sealed three foot tall canister of some unknown black metal. This canister of a bio weapon goo was left floating in space by an unknown alien life form. The stuff displays vivid warnings and strange patterns which are actually pleasing to the human eye.
3This rod of burnished metal will turn any metal into gold and then flesh and then any organic material. The mechanism is unknown.
4These four foot long metal springs are actually computer drives from an unknown alien race that will vibrate when electricity is present. They contain a million years worth of data if the PC's can figure out how to activate and use them.
5A three foot tall cut crystal vase is actually the eye of an unknown life form and displays incredibly vivid memories of the horror including humanoid life forms that it consumed.
6This weird hand in a metal box is more then slightly radioactive and hums to itself. The thing will return to life and try to murder the nearest humanoid.
7A set of six linked boxes of metal and plastic nearly eight foot long and linked by a heavy metal hexagonal chain. The chain clanks and bangs when lifeforms are present. A disembodied planar demon is trapped inside. The fun and games starts when its released.
8A series of twenty four metal disks about the size of dinner plates contains an alien A.I. intelligence and weapons system. The thing has 4 hit dice and is capable of slicing through flesh and bone as butter doing 1d6 points of damage per round. Artificial cold will deactivate it but vacuum or the cold of space will not.
9A black globe of glass like material the size of a human head contains a weird gaseous life form that makes prophesies, forecasts deaths, and sings alien lullabies. Thing also likes to manipulate star ship crews into murdering one another with promises of alien riches. Hit Dice 2
10A strange series of boxes contain the personal effects from some place called Alderaan or the like. The boxes are slightly carbon scored and burnt.
11A small series of alien looking cargo containers has a cargo strange smelling jelly like liquid and is actually multi colored goo with the same stats as Green slime.
12An alien doctors bag with a wide variety of alien medicial equipment and able to heal as though it was a cure light wounds spell. After 1d8 different medical issues are treated the malevolent intelligence of the bag will demand the murder of an innocent.
13A strange vial of weird colored liquid is indestructible. The stuff hurts the eyes of anyone looking at it for too long then it will begin to sing weird sanity shattering songs of love and loss.
14A half baked star ship engine belonging to a shuttle the last of the one-man exploration vessels: Ranger 3
15A strange octagonal shaped vessel about the size of a small child. Contains an alien android and weird bio mechanical devices.
16A slightly laser singed box of alien candies. Each one will cause a human to roll save vs poison but will act as a +1 charisma boaster if used with a silicon based life form.
17Weird rubbery bag of organs and strange artificial white blood like liquid. The stuff is a positronic womb matrix. It will maintain a constant temperature and heal any human or humanoid robotic life form placed within it within 1d8 hours. There is 20% chance of reprogramming attempts for ever hour spent within.
18A small perfectly preserved demon baby within a three foot long glass like ampule. The thing may or may not be alive. Looks evil though.
19A slightly baked and burned laser sword with a hand attached. No charge and the hand is organic but flash frozen.
20A brand new clone pod with a weird humanoid female in stasis but more then slightly horrifically mutated. Late twenty third century technology looks almost like Walliemart manufacture.
What Happens When A Demon Dies?
d20Result
1The killing wound bursts into flame which spreads rapidly through the demon's body, incinerating it from the inside out and leaving nothing but greasy ashes and thick, stinking smoke.
2The demon collapses into a pile of squirming, slimy worms, which rapidly disperse, leaving behind a foetid slime-patch where the demon fell.
3The demon deflates as thousands of small black beetles pour from the killing wound and scurry away.
4The demon petrifies instantly into solid granite. A weapon that inflicted the killing blow is momentarily trapped; make an easy STR save to free it (the attempt takes one attack).
5The demon petrifies instantly into very soft, friable stone that will crumble to the touch.
6The demon instantly freezes solid, falls over and shatters into a million shards. A weapon that inflicted the killing blow is momentarily trapped; make an easy STR save to keep hold of it as the slain demon falls.
7The demon transforms into a cloud of tiny, vicious birds that immediately turn on each other, pecking and slashing until the flock disperses in 1-3 rounds.
8The demon swells up like a bullfrog, tearing open from the point of the killing wound and spilling its bones and entrails out across the surrounding area. Anyone within 20' must make a CON save to avoid throwing up in their mouth.
9The demon disappears with a blinding flash and a deafening crack, leaving behind nothing but a small cloud of stinking smoke. Save or be dazzled and deafened for 1d3-1 rounds.
10The demon implodes, its hide crushing its bones and entrails, until all that is left is a small, leathery, wrinkled ball (about 6" in diameter) smelling strongly of putrescence.
11The demon explodes, showering everything within 20' in stinking mince.
12Translucent, ethereal tentacles spring up from the ground and drag the demon down to the abyss, leaving nothing behind but a shadow that slowly dissipates.
13The demon collapses into a pile of worn terracotta blocks, a couple of inches on a side. If someone wanted to take the time and effort, and had access to mortar and brickworking skills, they could be reassembled into a brick statue of the demon.
14Thick, stinking, tarry ooze gushes from all of the corpse's orifices. It sticks like treacle (and tastes absolutely disgusting).
15The demon and everything within 20' is covered with (harmless) electrical arcs for 1-3 rounds, after which it disappears with a flash and a smell of ozone.
16The demon disappears, leaving behind only an irridescent green pearl about half an inch in diameter. It is subtly unpleasant to look upon or to touch, and leaves a viewer with the distinct impression that it's watching them.
17The demon putresces and mummifies incredibly rapidly, as if a hundred years of decomposition takes place in a moment, and then falls to the floor, shattering into scraps of hide, bone and dust.
18The demon's skin sloughs off, then its muscles and entrails fall away, leaving its skeleton standing in the posture it was in at the point of death. If touched, the bones will collapse into dust.
19The demon, and everything around, it appears to suddenly stretch out to a hundred times its length and then snap back like a rubber band, disappearing with a noise like a bag of custard hitting the footpath, having been dropped from the top of a high tower. Make a WIS save or be severely disoriented for 1d3 rounds.
20The demon is petrified into a statue of sand; a wind arises and blows it back to the Abyss in 1d3 rounds. Make a DEX save to close your eyes or be temporarily blinded by wind-blown demon-grit.