as transcribed from fragmentary handwritten notes from several sources covering an indeterminate period. If I recall correctly, Fnord was about Level 9 at this time.
I've been searching for a LYRE OF BUILDING to build a castle with. Went to see a sage in BRACCIA who recommended her colleague in the northern part of the continent in the city of KANAK. Have taken passage in a slave-rowed galley for a ten-day voyage across the gulf to Kanak. Set out on March 7; am hatching a plot to free the slaves, but it looks a bit difficult so far.
With the aid of a L9 cleric of Anhur, I put my subtle plan into operation: we SILENCE the captain's cabin, kill most of the crew, and free the slaves. It works.
Unfortunately, we now have one of those blasted moral dilemmas.
The other passengers can now identify me to the authorities as a pirate when we land, which carries quite a hefty (and rather gruesome) penalty. To kill or not to kill, that is the question. Whether 'tis nobler in the mind etc. etc. Anyway, we maroon the captain and the remains of the crew on the island of DURADAN and let the elves take care of them, and then question the passengers under oath (with the aid of a surreptitious DETECT LIE), and they are all OK.
From Duradan to DERN, a smallish port north of Kanak.
We arrive in Dern, hire a small-time wizard to forge registration papers etc. for the ship, get the ship repainted, and set off for Kanak.
Arrive Kanak. Sell ship for 23,000gp — give the slaves 500gp each, leaving a net profit of 18,000gp. Not bad.
Make appointment to see the sage (at last). He knows of two possibilities, one from a report 300 years old and since obscure, the other from down the coast a bit but not definite. Possibly one and the same.
I head off after speaking to an old coot who claims to have seen a castle going up real quick down that way — he's now 78 and senile as hell, so the reliability of his information is open to question. I leave the family 200gp to alleviate their squalor — I'm so noble!
Ambushed in my sleep by 6 OGRES — does them no good, I kill the lot in an epic moonlight battle and come out almost as good as new thanks to my Acme® Ring of Vampiric Regeneration.
Subdue a feisty young BLACK BEAR, hp24
A SKUNK doesn't quite get me, thank goodness.
Another SKUNK, and an extremely wimpy WEREWOLF of hp8 which I kill.
Find the amazing Insta-Castle, which is owned by an ancient and doddery paladin. Sure enough, he has a Lyre of Building and will give it to me if I rescue his destrier which has been stolen by an evil wizard for some nefarious purpose. He has given me the horse's name, and I am to call it before attempting rescue, as it is wearing a magical bridle, the bells of which cast a SLEEP spell which will afffect anyone below L10. The name of the kidnapped horse is PHIL.
What am I getting myself into? I sure do wish Anya was here to give me a hand. Oh well, the old boy hasn't got long to live, so I guess I'd do the job even without the incentive of the Lyre, I'm so big-hearted.
I've been lent the services of MORAG, a L4 fighter who is extremely dumb (INT 6), but should prove useful enough in a fight I hope. She's one of the ugliest women I've ever seen (CHAR 5), and no personality to speak of (unless a threshing machine can be said to have a personality). The paladin has also given us two bottles of get-fixed-quick stuff, Acme® POtions of Extra-Healing. Nice guy, though getting a little creaky in the joints. We set out after a briefing.
Now getting out of Morag's range of knowledge — the horses are upset about something. We're travelling through forest and occasional patches of scrub. All of a sudden a very foolish LION leaped out at Beltran! Tsk tsk, after a couple of kicks from Beltran and one mighty blow from moi, one dead lion of hp24. I clean out Beltran's wounds, nothing else bothers us for quite a while.
We come upon a carved stone tomb with an effigy of an eastern knight — I go to investigate with drawn sword, but Beltran refuses to go any closer than 20'. All of a sudden an arrow hits me right in the middle of the back! OW!
To cut a long story short, I am attacked by both Morag (Grrrr!) and a LAMIA (hp49), one of whom I kill after losing a point of WIS. Morag comes right after the lamia is dead and seems to be as penitent as hell — I attempt to convince her that she is not a disgusting heap of crap who should be flogged.
In the creature's lair we find about 1,000gp and a pair of (possibly) magical boots of some sort.
The first fight with Morag in it — it does not bode well for the future.
Early in the morning, just pre-dawn, we are attacked by a GIANT SCORPION (hp 29) which we kill — a couple of arrows from Morag, then I chopped its head off.
Morag is becoming embarrassingly friendly towards me, although I can hardly blame her, I really am magnificent.
In the scorpion's lair, we find a whole swag of baby scorpions (which I burn to death), a gold and jet signet ring with a large ruby carved with a coat of arms (I don't recognise it), a (semi-melted) gold armlet, and a jewelled eastern-style helm of mysteriously untarnished silver. All go into the swag bag.
Later that day, Morag is atacked by a huge CONSTRICTOR (hp29) which I kill.
Surprised by a HIERARCHOSPHINX (hp28) which dive-bombs me, the bastard! We kill it, but not before it damages me severely.
That evening, as we come over a ridge, we see The Castle, and jolly nasty it looks too, with lots of bats, howling wolves, and other atmospheric Evil Castle stuff. We bed down under a rocky overhang so as not to be seen, and are FIREBALLED! Ow! Morag is HELD, and I fuck off into the undergrowth and watch a nasty 'orrible SPIRIT NAGA come slithering out. I attack it as it goes to bite Morag and manage to kill it (hp49) after an epic battle in which I am sorely hurt.
I spot a SHEDU flying overhead — it doesn't stop, but it comes back later on. We learn from him:
and he lends me a sword (+2 vs. Spell-users, and 50% magic resistance). Wahoo!
The shedu then pissed off, though he said that he'd come back and see how we're going, and he wants the sword back later (chiz!)
We also ally ourselves with some AAROCOCKRA (bird-men) who might come in handy at some stage.
That night we are attacked by a DISENCHANTER which I beat to death with my bare (gauntletted) fists. HA! No labyrinth entrance to be found, unfortunately. We decide to carry on the search tomorrow.
We find the entrance to the labyrinth. OH SHIT, AN UMBER HULK!!!
Revenge is sweet — I jump on it from behind and stab it through the heart, dead with one blow! (hp45). We loot its lair of
We then run into a bunch of REGENERATING ORCS! Stupidly, we let two of them get away to raise the alarm, and so we retire outside for a few days to let things calm down, whereupon we are immediately attacked by STONE GIANTS. We kill one (hp44), the rest get away. Alas, no loot to be had from the pauperish swine.
We hear a mysterious tromping from above us; it turns out to be about 40 horsemen leaving the castle. We re-enter the labyrinth, surprise two ORCS, and overbear them. One of them decides to cooperate with us (after some subtle persuasion from moi), the other I magnanimously allow to fight for his life and freedom. He lost. (The bloody paladin wouldn't let me kill it otherwise)
NOTE: What paladin? There's a marginal hp tally for someone called ENSHAR, I assume that's the paladin, but where the hell did he come from?
Anyway, the blasted thing (the orc, I mean) screeched in the process of dying and attracted more of the buggers. We kill 19 of them and the rest run away. We find a secret door and get through it, to find 10 armoured men. We kill 7, the remainder surrender. We then snare(?) the new(?) guards and glean 35gp loot and a crossbow.
Epic fight, kill the boss, take over the castle.
NOTE: "Epic fight"? What kind of story-telling is that? Pshaw!
Decide to clear out orc's nest. We get some info from our converted Orcish buddy, but not too much — he gives us a rough map, and tells us their are about 20 Uruks and some kind of skeleton-thingy down there.
Well, we found the skeleton-thingy alright, and it popped us through a dimensional portal to some horrible dim barren world ("Us" being moi and a friendly werebear by the name of ERIC).
NOTE: OK, so this is the appearance of Eric the Werebear. So where the hell did he come from? Methinks Sir Fnord is being just a little lax in his diary-keeping here.
We appeared in mid-air and drop into a pit infested with a GIANT SLUG, which we kill. Waited a while for the portal to reopen, which it does not, and we are attacked by a bunch of WOLF-THINGS which we kill some of. One of the sodding things infected me with some sort of horrible disease, but Eric was able to cure me (sort of).
We are attacked by three WYVERNS, which we kill.
Anyway, after an adventurous sort of time we made it to the glowing pyramid, where we are now, and a very interesting place it is too. I can't help wishing I was at home though; Beltran will be pining and my lovely new castle is probbaly being infested with horrible bloody orcs.
We stick around for about 2½ weeks (they keep track of the portal opening schedule) and then head back. We are attacked on the way by two FIRE ELEMENTALS. I kill one, the other scarpers, but we are both pretty badly burned.
It never rains but it pours — more of those bloody wolf-things! We kill 9, one escapes. Phew! I'm back on full hp thanks to my Ring, Eric is a bit crook though on only about 1/3 hp. Onwards!
We get back to the pit, and have to wait for a bit, but eventually the portal opens and we jump through just in time to be attacked by a BULETTE, which I kill, and then a BLACK DRAGON which bloody nearly kills ME! (My ring isn't working for some reason). I criticalled it, and killed it just in time to be saved by a rather nice COPPER DRAGON who is allowing us to hole up in her lair until we get better.
We are disturbed by a commotion from next door — 3 Black dragons ganging up on our Copper hostess. She's killed, and the Blacks drag her away... discretion is the better part of valour on our part, and we refrain from interfering. Anyway, waste not, want not — when the baddies leave, we search the cave. Not much treasure and no magic, but I accidentally Impress a baby dragon, Trûk by name. Charming creature, and terribly pretty.
We leave, and head over the hills looking for a safe place away from dragon retribution, but not before scattering the hoard through the long grass — the Black dragons return, and are most pissed off at this!
We make an uneventful journey through the mountains, down to another forest-dotted palin, where we plan to hole up for a while until we get a bit more healthy.
TRÛK:
8 HD, 34 hp
AC 1, Move 9"/24"
3 attacks: 1-4 claw / 1-4 claw / 5-20 bite
Breath weapons: acid, cloud of SLOW gas
Can't talk, but has empathic link with Fnord (no distance factor).
Made it back to Dragon Plain Portal & through without incident, back "home": garrison mostly dead, but one brave lad saved Beltran. Badly wounded and fatigued — I must reward him well. Loyalty is rare amongst men-at-arms (unless you're a bloody paladin!) Anyway, off we go to the elves for some help to retake my castle.
SNYDE the Soldier:
STR INT WIS DEX CON CHAR
14 9 14 12 15 8
Attacked in the night by two DISPLACER BEASTS: we kill one and drive off the other, but poor old Beltran is out for the count. Oh shit! Something else straight away! 4 OWLBEARS! We manage to kill them, but by crikey it's been an eventful night.
We find a hill with aeolian harps made with trees all over it. Pretty noise, sort of garden-like place. Up on top of the hill there's a sort of Romanesque mansion thing, with a little pointy-eared organist weirdo called ALPHONSO. Apparently he's been expecting us for ages and is going to give a concert.... !!!!(?)
Oh well, to cut a long story short, he turns out to be a RAKSHASA and we turned out to be imprisoned in a cell in a fortress. Bummer! Eric the Werebear ate some dodgy food and slept the sleep of the drugged. I managed to get out of the cell with Snyde, thanks to the Famous Patent DeLuxe Adventurers' Kit (acid dribbled down a waxed straw on to the bolt) and snuck out. MAGIC MOUTH guards gave us away, and the Rakshasa started tossing LIGHTNING BOLTS about. Then he sicced his pet HORNED DEVIL on to me, which I killed (just) and he clapped politely at my exploit. I politely acknowledged his applause by tossing mymace at his chest, and then jumped on him out the window as the greedy sod flew down to retrieve it! He got all pissed off at that and stayed to fight, and when Snyde joined in, I grappled him as he flew off. The Snyde climbed on, and I stabbed him to death with my dinky little +1 (+2 vs. Small) dagger. Yay dead Rakshasa!
NOTE: Yay for the fact that the GM had forgotten about Rakshasas not being affected by magic weapons of less than +3
MORAL: never trust a friendly person! It'll just turn out to be a horrible monster with teeth that long!
Eric came around not long after the fight, and after a bit of a rest we set off again into the growing daylight.
I've decided to go Artifact hunting — somnething to boost my intelligence enough that I can be a magician of some sort. So, I'm going back to the paladin to pick up the Lyre of Building which I will trade for info on the sort of something I'm after, and maybe some help to get it.
Snyde the Soldier is going back home to his village, to help repel the marauding Bad Guys from my (ex) castle. I reward him for his loyal service with all sorts of money and magic stuff.
Attacked by a MANTICORE, which jumped right on to the end of my lance and died on top of me. Urk! (hp40)
Ditto by HYDRA (of 8 heads), as we move down towards the village. We kill that as well (hp64).
When we get to the village the panic (the villagers, that is) on hearing of the investiture of my (ex) castle by the Orcs and their gunky skeletony master. We stick around for a week, organising some sort of guard, and then Snyde, Spike (wife of Snyde) and 2 kids truck off to THARBOLD via paladin to get some help from the king of these parts.
The paladin is helpful and will do something about the Narcs; he doesn't really approve of the king.
Between the paladin's keep and Tharbold we are attacked by BANDIDOS. We kill ten of them.
We reach Tharbold. Summary:
We came in sight of the DRUIDS ISLE and their defenses started up with a vengeance! Whirlpool-eddies caught us so that we couldn't get out, and then SHEET LIGHTNING blew my lovely Folding Boat to pieces. Boo-hoo!
Truk and I managed to fly to the shore (just!) but Eric was left floating out on the briny, waiting to be rescued. (A druid went out to get him). They sent dolphins to retrieve my pack.
They took the Harp (ANSTRUTH) and the Lute (DOL) with enormous glee, and apparently they were expecting me. Why is it that people are always expecting me?
I'm off to find the TORC OF THE RICONS, which was lost in a fight with the current mainland Imperial dynasty, and apparently the signet ring I found (ages ago) belonged to their hero's squire, so I'm going back to the scorpion's cave where his remains were to see if I can pick up the trail of the hero himself. The druids will teach me how to use my crystal ball, so maybe I can track him down that way.
The druids gave us a yacht; we sailed back, picked up Beltran, waited for Captain Clinker & sailed back to the city (Tharbold) with him. More trouble with the bureaucracy — apparently you now need papers there — and went to see Snyde, my trusty retainer. He was disillusioned with the BIg City and wanted to go back home, so we went.
Eric and I went up into the hills, and after several days, were attacked by two STONE GIANTS. They almost did for me, until I suddenly remembered all my magical goodies — I HELD one and LIGHTNING BOLTed the other into smithereens. Then I did a bad thing — stabbed the HELD giant to get some hp back. Oh dear oh dear. (hp 48,52)
Brief encounter with a DISENCHANTER; I climbed a tree and Eric bonked it on the head. We run away.
We've found the general area of the scorpion's lair, but can't find exactly where it is — my memory's not what it used to be. Come to think of it, my memory was never what it used to be.
Attacked by three HIPPOGRIFFS. I kill one, the other two fly away (hp14)
4 OGRES. We kill 3 (hp 21,24,16)
We've found it! The cave has been colonized by snakes; we smoke them out and I investigate. In amongst the remains of the body in there I find a small bone scroll case: inside it is a message we don't understand. We will take it to the paladin, he's only two or three days from here as far as I can remember.
I was wrong, he was 10 days away! We arrive just in time for his funeral. Oh dear.
Morag is there, and after paying my respects and all, I repair to the paladin's library. After much searching, I find a lexicon and translate the note:
"Hail Lords of Earth and Sky,
The situation is hopeless and our army is dying. I go to find the Ythurg beyond the mists. They are strange beings, as legend has it, and ferocious, but mayhap they will listen. This enemy is theirs as well, and will threaten the Lost Isle eventually as it seems to threaten the universe. Live on in hope my Lords and Ladies, if I die there my treasures will be as safe as they can be in these evil times, and a new champion may yet be born. I will leave you now, Anac has prepared this messenger and will accompany me. The curse of the Dagda on these invaders!
Oman"