Wulf the Zealander (or "Steve", as his parents call him for some reason which I've never figured out) is an insane Viking psycho-loony who lives in a world of dress-up and make-believe. He also likes to strap several hundredweight of metal to his body, and then, with sticks, beat the crap out of others of like mind. I refer, of course, to the activities of the SCA (Society for Creative Anachronism), that wacky bunch of fun-loving medievalists. Steve is a great guy, but should never be let anywhere near firearms or explosives, not only for his own safety, but also for that of society at large. I do not make this judgement lightly, but after many years of watching him salivate at the very mention of the words "Glock" and "9 millimetre".

Fortunately for the rest of us, Steve is in an enduring relationship with Jennifer Geard, who seems to be less keen than he on ideas like summary execution for the crime of "Pissing Steve Off". Also fortunately for the rest of us, it's not that easy to get hold of a Glock 9mm in New Zealand.

Steve is yet another of my friends who has fled Christchurch for the bleak, windy, politician-infested hills of Wellington. Maybe I need to change my deodourant.